'Homework'

Assalamualaikum dan salam sejahtera...

I have totally lost the will to blog. Kalau dulu2 tuh, cerita ada dlm kepala but sometimes too busy to write..but these couple of months, kepala blank. I'm slowly starting to create stories in my head, so i may be back. Before boleh celoteh macam biasa, ada 'homework' yg kena i buat.

A reader, HM wrote an email to me regarding her cat..very much part of the family and loved. I baca email tu banyak kali dik and setiap kali, tetap rasa sebak. Non animal/cat loving person will not understand our love and attachment to our furry companions. Personally to me, they are more than just cats..they are my kids. Decision in taking them on dulu bukannya sebab i kesepian and depa adalah accessory...I have always had cats my entire life, so having one or many just came naturally. Any decision i made besar atau kecik mesti i keep them in mind. Nak pindah rumah area mana yg selamat utk depa, buat renovation muat tak grill utk depa keluar masuk, mana nak tempatkan their litter boxes termasuklah my decision on furthering my studies locally (and how i had to suffer for this)...but at the end of the day, nothing else matters because i manage to keep them safe and happy, hopefully.

Now they are getting into their twilight years..Monty is 10 and Oogy (formerly known as Ugi..dia kata nak glamer sikit) is 8..never a day gone by that i tak terfikir yg one day, soon maybe, they will leave me...(dah sebak dah ni). Sebanyak mana i prepare myself for it, i know i will still cry buckets and rasa kosong for sometime to come....macam masa Melly PrincessBoyot pergi dulu. Seperit mana i menjaganya dulu, sebanyak mana duit yg keluar, i did it with redha because she was Melly, she was more than just a pet. Kalau ada penawarnya, ke hujung dunia i akan cari. But alas, akhirnya i terpaksa terima hakikat yg i had to let her go because it was too painful for her. Masa dia tengah sakit, sedaya upaya i cuba buat dia selesa. But ada sedikit kekesalan....in my quest to make her better, i paksa dia makan ubat yg i tahu pahit ya amat. Walaupun dia dah lemah, she fought like crazy, mouth frothing and dragged herself to one corner, bathed in her saliva. I gave up that night. I was angry..i thought why wasn't she cooperating when all i wanted was to make her better. Esok paginya i found her where i had left her the night before. She was too weak to even get back into her box. I menyesal sangat2 because i could have made her comfortable..instead i terlalu melayan perasan i.

But after i accepted the fact that she was dying, it was some sort of a relief. Macam, ok, from them onwards, lets just keep her comfortable and let her know we, her family was around her and that we all loved her very, very much.

OK, i got to stop now...nanti laki i ingat apahal menaip sambil teghoyak* at the same time. To HM, i kagum dgn your (+ your family) dedication towards looking after your ailing furry sibling. I hope this reply hasn't come too late... At the end of the day, itu saja yg kita boleh bagi in return but i think he knows he is very much loved and that's all that matters to him.

*teghoyak = menangis meroyan