Kena kencing

Cerita kena kencing i ni takde kena mengena dgn hantu langsuir (atau langsuyor kata ong kampung i). Although stories of hantu langsuyor yang suka mengencing  orang dari atas pokok would have made a more interesting read.

Kencing mengencing can happen to an individual...or boleh juga berlaku secara berjemaah.

Masa i kat tadika, i ingat lagi sorang budak ni. Dia jadi kapla ajak main tepi longkang. But bila kena tangkap dgn cikgu kitaorang, dia boleh pura2 buat rhope nerd and join bebudak lain yg tengah main kawin2. So, tinggallah i ngan kawan i sorang ni je yg terkebil2 kena dengar lecture berjela2 dari Miss Ammapoddi, class teacher kitaorang. Lepas tadika, oooiii tak terkiranya banyak adegan kencing mengencing ni right through primary and secondary school. But bila dah develop conscience, kita pun wise up lah kan bahawa sesunggunya mengencing orang tu adalah perbuatan yang sungguh keji.

It happened to a friend masa tengah masters dulu. We all had soo many assignments to do. Some smart alec cadangkan yang sorang buat A, orang tu buat B and tah sesapa lagi buat assignment C. pastu tukar2 and copy lah secara berhemah (dan pandai..janganlah plagiat sebijik2 ok!). I was not involved pasal bukanlah kerana i ni terror or ArianaRose sangat orangnya but purely due to the fact that kursus derang lain uols! In the end Miss X and Mr Y ni je yg berkomplot...so what kan...bukannya masuk peksa pun. No big deal. One fine day, they were both called to the dean's office dgn tuduhan yg sungguh berat ya itu...i pun tak paham sebenarnya...mengopy each other??? Like i said...it was not during examination. And i'm sure they copied intelligently, apa bezanya if they were a part of group discussion? Points would still remain the same kan?. They were let off with a strict warning. But kecoh la..sampai SV, dean semua terlibat. The question until today, sapa yg pi kencing derang?

At my previous post, kita orang semua one happy family. Cam adik beradik, gelak2, makan sesama, baik jantan tino. Because they were just us, takdak staff lain lagi masa tu. One day, a few of the guys kena warning dengan the big boss, kononnya berkelakuan tidak mencerminkan diri mereka yg semuanya swomi orang. Haaa?? Sampai aktiviti2 tertentu boss boleh tahu..(err..bukan scandalous activities ye...but those like makan ABC kul 11 pagi, bawah pokok kind of thing). Lainlah CCTV ada merata2, kan? So..the question until today is...siapakah yg telah pass urine on his friends and kenapa?

In my second job, the big boss cakap berkobar2...janji itu ini...janji untuk mencari staff2 baru utk mengurangkan kesengsaraan we all yg terpaksa jadi sotong sana sini. What do you know? Rhope2nya dia bapak penipu paling besar...at the same time dia mengepalai  pledge aku janji setiap naik tahun, dia jugak berkomplot utk menubuhkan company baru...menggunakan waktu pejabat dan sumber2 sedia ada utk had yg lagi satu. Konon nak carikan staff baru, staff yg sedia ada pun nak dicopetnya dengan janji2 manis mu. Sungguh la tiada rasa perasaan bersalah orang tua tu...bila terserempak kat mana2 (well the fraternity taklah sebesar mana), dia pulak yang ignore kita buat cam tak nampak and taknak tegur. Pergh!

Baru2 ni, kena kencing berjemaah..both yg kena and yg buat. People always say niat takkan menghalalkan cara...but in this case, niat yang tak betul tapi tengah terkial2 utk buat cara tu jadi 'legal'. Come on lah awak..kami bukan budak bodoh. I hope you are mighty pleased with yourself. Tak payah la nak cari 10000 alasan trying to justify your actions because at the end of the day, you are only accountable to god. Apa yg dalam hati awak, cuma Allah saja yg tahu.

Sunday miff

I'm a bit miffed. Mungkin sebab tak berapa sihat- asyik batuk bec macam rasa ada lipas menari2 kat kerongkong. What am I annoyed about?
Well...dua minggu lepas pak I dengan suara panik2 mintak I carikan colleague I yg sesuai utk tengok kawannya yg ada masalah tertentu ni. I asked why tak cari someone local aje? Bec sekarang ni bukan macam dulu. Setiap state dah ada expertnya. Kan lebih senang? Especially bila kena datang berulang kali.. Eh nemind katanya. Pakcik ni no hal nak berulang. And also plus the fact that maybe they don't want to be in the 'queue' kan? Thing is, people always think that my colleagues and I, menengok clientlah pekerjaan ruji kami...wrong! In fact from the 40 hours we are at work in a week, 3 jam je yg kitaorg ada utk tengok clients...the rest are taken up by other stuff like admin and apa2 lagi utk our kpi etc. Furthermore, kalau dah 3 jam je, of courselah very stringent client selectionnya kan? Katakanlah if I were a neurosurgeon, takkanlah 3 jam tu I gunakan utk treat orang batuk selsema, kan? But then again, kalau ada junior colleagues, I kerahkan jugala...problemnya these people come and go. Kejap ada kejap dah takde.

Ok back to the permasalahan tadi, I memang berat mulut nak tanya my colleague if she minds seeing so and so. Pastu gaya pakcik ni macam nak cepattttt..Sib baiklah boleh. And I yg susah payah contact assistant dia, bagi no pakcik ni kat assistant dia, bagi no my friend's practice tu kat pakcik tu through my dad. Tup2 tadi my dad sms tanya I no. my friend's practice..kawan tu tak simpan haritu kut. Hish perlukah I layan? I taulah I ni pangkat anak2 dia je but still, you asked me a favour through my professional capacity which I have obliged. But now, professionally, pi googlelah pakcik. Saya tak simpan no. tu and I'm not about to kacau my colleague on a Sunday for it. Nasiblah..

A few years ago, my friend ni mintak I tolong jugak. Ok I took him to a colleague. Bila dah tercapai hajat di hati terus senyaaaap je dia. Kalau tak tu boleh jugak tefon2 whenever he was in the vicinity for his appointment. Ajak mengeteh. Bebaru ni timbul semula...asked me to refer his niece pulak. I kata cannnn...but ikut jalan 'biasa' ye? I segan nak mintak kawan I tu utk jalan 'pintas' lagi. Alaa, kalau boleh nak cepatlah katanya. @$¥€£! These people kan...dah la nak bayar murah sebab tu tak pi ke prebet pastu nak cepat. Boleh? That's the gist of the problem actually. I nak referkan any cases to my colleagues memang senang if these people masuk je dlm waiting list tu ikut penetapan. Be prepared to waitlah. Kenkadang list tutup sementara waktu to finish off existing cases. Don't keriaulah kan because it does happen sometimes. Cam masa i nak choose O&G nak beranak dulu. Dr. So and So dah tutup listnya for that year..takkan nak paksa2 suh bukak untuk kita pulak kan? But nooooooo...these people usually nak cepat, kalau boleh next week... So how? Memang I tak layan kawan i tu kali ni. Mampus pi lah.

What these people don't understand is, my colleagues and I punya kerja hakiki bukan utk provide service. Pi lah ke anak2 buah DatukSubramaniam. Kalau yg ditanya tu within my capacity, I dgn senang hati akan buatkan. But nak tanya favour dari orang lain? Some are willing to pay but they don't know sapa kat prebet yg as good. Kalau yg camni I dgn senang hatinya akan call up my colleague in private personally to refer my friend tu. Do you think MG is my client? Oh tidak ye...dia tidak memenuhi syarat kepakaran I..let's say lah, he's the one wt batuk selsema.. So off he goes to my friend in the private sector. This kind of favour senang sikit...say you need A done, I'd say go to Ms M. If you need B done, I think Mr K would be suitable and he's nice. Haa gitu.

But of course kawan2 ketat ada la quota nya tersendiri, kan? But Esah, cuma utk dirimu sahaja dan sesungguhnya I tau you takde laki or anak2...dgn Esah ni I kena warn siap2 bec she can't help it bersesuaian dgn dirinya yg social worker tu, semua org kalau boleh dia nak cuba tolong..

Sent by Maxis from my BlackBerry® smartphone

Hati bukan kristal

My BFF cakap (BFF yang bukan Esah..eh..i ada tau kawan lain...), if we encounter a problem and then the next day kita masih terfikir2 pasal problem tu ataupun nak tido malam termimpi2 pasal tu, it must be something yang kita take it personally.

Once upon a time, there was one senior colleague ni  cakap kat BFF i yg i tak serious in my work. Dia kata, tengok cam Baung tu..serioussss je. Well, i have always been a joker kan..jarang tengok muka i panjang 14. But that doesn't mean i don't get things done atau i tak dok memikirkan pasal kerja. So my BFF tu stood up for me lah..dia cakap, eleh! Si Baung tu yg liat nak pi workplace B for the weekely session and i pulak, buatlah procedure kat OT tu dengan perut besar up to the day yg esoknya i masuk sepital to beranak. The difference between Baung and i pulak...he moans about work all the time...you'd think dialah yg kena menyelesaikan harga minyak yg naik tak tau turn tu..whereas, i'd drown my sorrows in pi makan sushi sensorang or tido...i don't moan that much. Anyway, what the senior colleague said about me memang menyebabkan i lost sleep that night...and a few nights after that until lah my maid ran off, and i had other bigger problem to think about.

Anyway, panjang mukadimah tu. Yesterday, Baung dgn innocentnya datang kat i and tanya if i can recommend any expert from workplace B or workplace C yg i kenal to give a talk. i said, huh? talk apakah ini? Well, he said, it's part of a workshop he's be organising for our trainees. Memula mata i besar, pastu dikecikkan.....dalam kepala otak ternigiang2 sore psychoterist i (esah ler, sapa lagi kan?)..she said, i must always let people know how i feel. Jangan dah 45x bey bey baru i nak pi cakap kat orang tu balik and in the meantime, i'd kill myself many times over it. I cakap kat Baung yg i tak tau menau apa workshop yg he's trying to conduct, apa programnya, apa objektifnya and now he's asking boleh i recommendkan orang? Pastu, buat kerja sensorang like dia sorang je lah kat dept kitaorg (i ngan dia je lah pun) or that we have 10 orang dlm dept and i ni junior plankton je ke yg tugasnya jaga air mineral je ke? i kata lepas tu you akan moan 4000x about manning a one man show! Well, Baung terus melarikan diri dia sambil muka yg menunjukkan 'sorry i asked'. Bengang betul i! Then Esah and I psychoanalyse about it on our way home. I cakap yg other then his tendency to moan from here to high heavens, i trust him implicitly. Dia takdak zarah mengenakan orang atau manipulative kerana dia 'warak' - oklah..warak cara ugama dia. Tapi i still nak dia tau yg i marah because he sidelined me bila buat benda2 penting camni. I said, oklah..i nak bagi dia cold shoulder satu minggu...i nak dok je dlm bilik, kunci pintu pasal i tak nak dia masuk bilik i..kalau dia berinteraksi dgn i, i tak harapkan dia mintak maap (typical of men kan) but he does have a way yg buat i, ok la..bongoknya aku nak agro terlebih2...( i said, ni mesti pasai dia set2 rajin baca 'quran' - versi dia..sebab tu orang tengok sejukkk je hati). He would just meleser2.....unlike Neo tu yang i merajuk setaun lebih pun dia tak datang pujuk you..buat bodooooohhh je. Memang dasar jantan ikan yu!

Anyway, this morning i came in, checked my email, tetengok ada email dari dia yg dihantar kul 430pm semalam. Kena jegil dgn i kul 330pm..Adalah sejengkal jugak emailnya, menerangkan apakah yg telah berlaku and why he did what he did. Mendayu2 jugaklah bunyinya...Cemana ni Esah..iman i dah goyah dah ni...i can only bolt myself in my room for like one day..OK la..we'll see how long i can tahan not replying his email and tak pi loiter kat corridor harap2 ditegur dek Baung.

Tunggu je lah bonus from the BIGGEST boss..

I've nothing to write about tapi nak write jugak. I'm sleepy, have no opinion about anything whatsoever kecuali si SerapMuslim tu. But then cite dah basi (telurnya je yg tak basi2).....oh yes, kalau kajaan bagi bonus sebulan or separuh bulan gaji kat kakitangan awam, best jugak. But then again gaji dah naik dua kali katanya tahun ni je. Lagipun why should us kakitangan awam deserve a bonus? Buat kerja lembab, yg jaga kaunter muka tak pernah senyum, service cam terpaksa je, email tak pernah nak balas, kalau tepon khidmat pelanggan you get the run around...yes, tapi nak bonus. Camna tu? Of course dalam sebelanga susu tu adalah kut 4, 5 titik yg perform. Kalau dapat yg helpful, ceria, kita pulak yg terfikir..wah! Yes, jangan keriau i mengutuk kakitangan awam, because apparently i am one.

A few months ago, sekali tu during lunch time, i was at the office. Tefon berbunyi memula kat meja PA pastu merebak dari satu bilik ke satu bilik. Of course no one was around..i was, because err...it's my 'berlabuh' time (lebih rela tak makan dari missing out on my 'power nap'). Sampailah tefon i yg berbunyi. It came from a mum yg risau pasal anaknya..dia ada kemunsykilan. Masa tefon berbunyi, hati macam panas sikit: tak tau ke ni time rehat orang? Nasib baik bisikan syaitan itu berjaya ditewaskan. I answered all her questions. The mum was grateful. It could have easily been me any of us, kan? Including me yg salu bertefon, dr (vet), kenapa kucing saya bersin2 hari ni? Kenapa mata dia macam juling sikit?  Kenapa pipi kembung sebelah?   Esah cakap kat i, setinggi mana pangkat i satu hari nanti, ingat2lah orang kat bawah. Jangan berlagak, katanya. Jangan dissociate dari 'orang kebanyakan', katanya lagi. Ye memang senang nak lupa daratan especially when you have other people at your beck and call to do the 'dirty' work for you..I cakap kat Esah, kalau i jadi menyombong satu hari nanti, sila lempang i sebijik. Dia kata dia takkan lempang i, dia akan name and shame me on her blog (biasalah dia ni..)

Lepas tu, ada juniors ni..in actual fact, i bukanlah main SV diaorang..tapi dok sua2 thesis depa kat i. Memula tu nak tengok sekali lalu je...nasiblah kan..takkan nak sampai terbengkalai gua seniri punya lak kan? Sekali lagi syaitan tu berbisik utk buat tidak amanah gitu..bukankah i dah sign form yg mengatakan i co? Bukankah i am spending tax payers money to be where i'm at now, with the knowledge i've accumulated over the last 4 years? Takkan nak lepas tangan je seperti sesetengah SV tu buat kat students diaorg? Amanah dalam menjalankan tanggungjawab...memanglah kalau buat kerja gitu2 je bukannnya sapa nak dengar suara juniors tu mengomel pun kan? Ye lah, kita jaws, dia ikan bilis...still, jangan lupa hukum karma..

A few months ago, i mintak tolong kat co-researcher i ni, who also happened to be a colleague and also a struggling postgrad. He could have been my saviour..his path to obtain a phd degree cam2 i jugak..malah lebih teruk lagi. I thought he could help me and struggling as he was, i thought he would have understood more of my predicament. But you know what he said to me? Since his life was not made any easier by certain people in authority, he has vowed to not share his 'findings/data/expertise' with anyone else. That includes me yg ada sangkut paut dgn dia. I could only mengucap....this coming from someone yg i selalu kagum because can quote quranic verses macam bukak pili air je..lupa ke dia yg sekiranya dia melapangkan 'jalan' orang lain Allah akan melapangkan 'jalan'nya pula? Lagipun, apa sangkutpaut i dgn orang yg dah menzalimi dia? And last but not least, is he not my co-researcher? I termenung and terpikir. Adakah dia memang selamanya cenggini? You scratch my back, then only will i scratch yours? Hati i yg jahat ni cakap, haiyo, no wonderlah 'hidup' kau tu susah..Wallahualam, only Allah knows best.

Tu je lah ceritanya kali ni.

Sembang morning coffee

Tajuk je tu...i sesungguhnya berpuasa uols...!

Ok, sebelum i start menceceh, i'm going to paste the baba ganoush recipe here and flat bread here. Hummus pulak kat sini. So idaklah terasa2 cam penampilan gambar2 makanan itu adalah tanpa arah tujuan. Both easy peasy only since i pun boleh buat, kan? And contrary to orang ittew yg ingat semua maid i yg buat, mintak maap sikit ye. Bibik ku ittew masakan yg berbaur tempe dan seangkatan dengannya boleh la...yg international dia wa pu chi tau. Btw, boleh tak sempena bulan ramadhan yg you kena berposer ni, makan yg berkhasiat sikit? And with that i don't mean maggi mee, lucozade or kuih raya. Pastu keriau2 kata takdak energy. Bila bulan poser makan sikit benar...bila bukan time poser boleh lak bantai nasik lapan pinggan kan? Tu tak tengok lagi performance you kat SushiKing...sapa tu..tak taulah kan..

Speaking of kasut merah, kenalah i jugak mewar2kan kat sini regarding the Help & Hope walk in the name of charity, since i satu2nya retis jemputan utk program tu. Hihihiihii..perasan! Anyway, let's beramal and at the same time keluar peluh and berfeeling2 sihat. Nak lagi gempak join gang kasut merah ataupun kalau uols dah ada kasut warna2 garang bak Padaiyappa, you can form your own group..ceria gittew (Btw, sapa nak tengok gambar boipren padaiyappa Esah, click here...that's where she gets all her bright colour ideas from).

OK, ni cite lain. Dulu2, ada sorang staff kat tempat kerja i, si Aunty chenna ni. Dia dah retire dah masa tu but sambung contract kat tempat we all. Setiap hari, dia masuk kerja kul between 630-640. She said, she couldn't sleep past 4am. So lepas siap2 mandi, siram pokok, dia pun masuk kerja. I terpikir masa tu, lor...gilo ko apo? I time tu jaman2 tu masih lagi golek gelantang atas katil or bersubuh gajah. Laa ni...guess sapa la pulak yg dapat penyakit camtu? Me! I so malas want to be caught in the morning traffic kan..so bulan poser ni, lepas makan tepi katil kurma 3 biji i pun rolled out of bed and dah siap mandi nunggu azan subuh je. Pastu bedak2 muka sikit and zup masuk keta. Yesterday i arrived at work at 650am. Itupun dah bawak keta sehabis selow and ditambahkan lagi pulak dgn mata rabun2 ayam ni..kalau tak maunya 630 terpacul kat office. Pastu barulah perasan...aiyaiyai...takdak orang lain you! Gelap lagi!! Mulalah cakap2 kat sesapa tah..aku ni nak kerja je...jangan kacau...BTW adik2 sekalian, jangan kata masa bulan poser takdak hantu ye..yg kena ikat adalah syaitan..yg jin2 tu masih free willy tau..Dah la opis ni bekas sepital..mesti depa ada yg nyanyi2 'it used to be my playground...'. OK2 i dah melalut sangat ni..Pastu i terfikir...waaahh kalau hari2 camni mesti productive gila...i get like 1.5 hours of work done before orang lain masuk kerja...haa..kalau nak balik awal kul 3 pun takde sapa nak keriau2..Yelah tu kan..what am i doing now?? Memenuhkan napsu serakah Esah and Piah (and ko jugak DLL oi) suh hapdate..hapdate! Yes...some days...i mungkin akan sambung tido atas sofa i ni..hahaha..buruknya perangai..But then what to do? Ngantuk tak ngantuk mesti datang kerja sebelum jem. And kalau mata masih ngantuk, how to perform? How to keluarkan idea2 yg bernaskan? MG always says that we all ni ngabihkan boreh je (and Esah always dengkikan sofa kat ofisku ini)...but then he wouldn't undertand people in academia ni..dalam masa tengah meneran pun otak tu boleh berfikir pasal methodology (i ingat i sorang je yg buat kerja ni..rhope2nya my ex-little boss from workplace B pun cenggini gak gayanya..haa..dia tu excellent gila..idea bernas berlambak2). Haa, dalam sedap2 korang tido malam dapat la pulak phone call cemana nak proceed dgn this procedure or that..ko ado?

Righty ho, sembang kosong je pagi ni. Pas bukak poser kang, i bergossip ye?

P/S Kad raya and hadiah secumit tu dah sampai? 

Blowing off steam

Mood agak kureng this morning. Perut lapar..harapkan ada meeting by mana2 dept. Meeting = food berlebih. Yilek! Called McD delivery...sorry kak, riders tak ramai, sejam baru sampai...erk! No can do. What is it with me and burger? Harituh dok pusing2 kat Cyberj@ya cari BK. Haram jumpa...and seriously i've been there before...and i mati2 ingat bangunan tu kat situ tapi dah takde. I'm seriously losing my marbles. I told Baung, i'd better go to the cafe before i start makan orang.

Ada la whatsapp group ni. I terjebak dah bertahun....mula2 disebabkan oleh common interest...tapi pasai dah bey bey 45000X, i pun terdetik dlm hati yg, eh, gediknya pompuan2 ni. Ni gedik bukan sebarang gedik...ni gedik pompuan2 berumur. Extreme tau! Set2 gila kosser tapi menyorok di sebalik kegedikan mereka...ok la...it doesn't make sense to uols out there but basically, i tak larat. Nak memegang tampuk pemerintahan tapi apakah niat sebenar? Adakah depa ni nak membimbing company ni menjadi lebih maju? Tapi track record depa2 ni terserlah yg kronisme kuat sungguh! Bila depa buat keputusan tu ada je justifikasi utk menghalalkan caranya...for.eg katalah kita mintak dana...kita dapat seribu..tapi kroni boleh dapat 10000...kenapa? Oh sorry terlepas pandang...terextra satu kosong..boleh???! Pi buat lawatan...senyap2...kroni2 je pergi..bila orang lain mintak dana, depa kata takde duit...but bila had depa, adalah pulak tabung ini tabung itu kan...pastu outcome tak tahu apa...Kalau rhope serope piraun, takpe gak,.....tapi ni set2 yg sikit quote hadith...sikit2 quote ayat quran...OK tak mau cakap lagi pasal ni..kinda riles me up.

Labuh je bontot kat kerusi ofis, sorang masuk bilik...nak bagitau perihalaku one of the akak gediks kat atas. Sebab tu le i'm sooooo not looking forward to come back to work. I left 4 years ago sebab benda2 camni..balik, masih benda yg sama jugak. Ikan jaws makin berkuasa, ikan bilis kena makan. Then Baung pulak masuk...he needed an international referee for some application. I said, apa susah. Contact  je lah cikgu 'To Sir With Love' tu...bukankah dia cikgu kita berdua, i cakap. Then Baung cakap, oooo..it's so long ago lah....ingat ke lagi dia....Lama tu, akak ni kan lapar pastu ngidam burger tak dapat burger. I jeritkan kat Baung. I said, enough with this negativity! Bukan ke cikgu tu setiap kali datang Mesia dia akan cari kita berdua? Kita, OK! Bukannya orang lain walaupun ramai murid dia di sini. Bukankah kita baru jumpa dia last month? What does it tell you? Of courselah dia ingat kat kita!

Padan muka Baung! Terkulat2 dia kena tengking. Yelah...itu bukan masalah besar pun...boleh tak jangan benda kecik pun nak whine and moan?

Ok nanti sambung lagi..

Bukan parti Abe Sam, bukan juga parti Tok Jib

Baru2 ni i kena kerja…si Baung mintak ganti dia. Memula bila staff bagitau yg ada masalah bec si Baung kena pi workshop and dia berura2 nak mintak i ganti dia. Kan we all ni gilpren boipren (mau bergulung rambut lagi rambut aney tu dengar i cakap camni)…i cakap kat staff tu, ‘tak mau tak mau! Jangan cakap kat dia yg you dah bagitau i..i nak dok rumah je and takmau jawab tepon..!’ Tup, tup i pulak yg tepon dia ‘dey, you mau i ganti you ke?’ Memang sah i dah dimandremnya kan…see..with baung n ii boleh hot and cold dgn dia but tak sapa ambik hati..aku jugak yg dicarinya nak ngomel pasal org lain yg pi buat dia (juvenile sangat kan..). Tapi mak terharuuuu..Anyway, cukup tak suka kalau kena ganti dia had tang tu…sejuk uols…it was freezing my ti** off. The only good thing was biskut cicah teh-o kat pantry..

Anyway, recently, someone from Merdek@Centre rang me up..nak buat survey pasal GE ni katanya. OK la…i’m a (struggling) researcher…so i tau bagaimana susahnya nak collect data. Apa saja survey i akan jawab..baik tepon, email or post…walaupun cuma soklan cam sabun mandi apakah pilihan puan…anak puan minum susu apa…

I’m not sure whether MC tu really does exist…suspect cam ‘depa’ nak tau i nak undi sapa je..soklan2 memula tu bernas…last2  tanya, calon parti manakah Puan akan mengundi utk parlimen kawasan puan nanti? Ek eleh…bukankah undi itu rahsia??? Serahsia perhubungan somi istri katanya…(so pesanan dari AniBNS utk sesorang tu: tak yah gebang tunjuk itinerary anniversary ko yg ko akan konket somi istri sebelum ambik anak kat sekolah and memalamnya…sesungguhnya Ani masih geli geleman sampai sekarang). So i told the adik, cer teka dari jawapan2 yg saya dah bagi tu…

Pastu i cerita kat somi i (yes bang, malam nanti siap kul 12 kita ‘beramah mesra’ ye..malam jemaat kata org tu kan…Btw, scenario di atas ni saja i create nak bagitau takdak hadis sahih yg mengatakan konket malam jemahat tu sunat ye..). I said, i told the adik yg buat survey tu bahawasanya saya akan undi utk parti yg menegakkan faktor2 di bawah ini.

1. Education for all children irregardless  whether ada mykid ke tak. Because i don’t understand with the children of immigrants yg under UN ni. Masalah pelarian tu tak selesai2, in the meantime the kids don’t get formal education, so what do we expect to become of them? Bukan masalah kita ke? Because bila budak tu besar, dia masih lagi taraf pelarian and masih lagi kat tanahair kita…but still bukan masalah kita? We see a lot of them as our clients…setakat belajar ngaji je. Pastu ikut makpak mintak sedekah..still bukan masalah kita?

2. Menjaga kebajikan haiwan…kita tak excited langsung bila PM kita once upon a time tu tetiba je adopt kucing pastu masuk dlm sokhabar. One, dia jumpa kucing tu kat gerai makan tengah gelandangan ke? Did he actually save the cat’s life? Two, to adopt kitties ni should not be spur of the moment thing yeah..mesti willing to commit at least the next ten years of your life to your pet. Ok la…kat sriperdana banyak dendayangnya…govt should promote TRNM. Bukannya pi subcon penangkap haiwan and humban reramai ke ‘ghetto’ tunggu tarikh bila nak dilupuskan. And then, buat apa pi bawak panda ke sini dgn belanja upkeepnya beribu riban when dah lama pencinta haiwan teghiak suh buat taman haiwan terbiar. Can msians really take care of exotic animals cam panda tu when nak take care of public toilets pun tak lepas lagi? masa kes petknode dulu, ada ke politician yg turun padang?  nurul izzah sibuk2 katanya nak cari populariti. pm setakat tweet je. And then, of course i tak kan support setengah state govt tu yg satu masa dulu keluarkan notis suh tembak pak belang kat hutan jeli gua musang tah mana dulu because the PBs pi makan peneroka. Ada pi buat ‘survey’ dulu tak napa PB pi encroach into human territory..or is it the other way round. Oh ni tak..suh je org pi tembak PB reramai..

3. The rape of our hutan..bina penempatan..rumah besar2 atas bukit, kilang, istana..apalagi? Bagi lessen pembalakan willy nilly..bongoks or what? Lama2 bila hutan dah terang, ingat ada ke tourist nak datang dan menikmati ‘kehijauan’ msia? Hutan simpanan kat Perak, Kedah, Sabah, wherelse? The audacity of the people in authority yg rasa bumi Mesia ni milik diaorg. Scientist omputeh datang sini pi kaji lebah hutan, herba ini itu…bawak the info balik Negara depa..yg kita ni nganga je, tak habis2 nak tebang pokok..then these people discover a cure for this and that and tengok2 from kita punya flora fauna. Bengong ke tak?

4. Pembaziran..kalau pi mana2 kononnya utk lawatan sambil belajar, perlukah hantar hampir satu opis pergi? It’s taxpayers’ moneykan?  Perlukah bagi ayaq free when mentality orang kat msia masih belum lagi berada di tahap yg ‘mature’. Free=bazir. Tengok je lah orang2 yg pi makan buffet kat hotel2. See how much of leftovers are in the plate. Orang takde dlm bilik office tapi lampu dgn aircond terpasang. Pi bagi laptop kat budak sekolah tu wat apa? Depa pi tengok www lucah je..kalau tak pun pi main candy crush penatang tu. Has any party actually perjuangkan ‘elakkan pembaziran’? Tengok bendera penuh kat tepi jalan bakkan bulu hidung kaplam pun dah cukup dah..

So i told MG, prolly i should form a party to contest in the future…dia cakap, join NGO je lah. So sapa yg layak dapat undi i? Which is the lesser evil? Worth it ka on 5thMay nanti i pi terkedek panjat tangga ke tingkat 3 sekolah tu nak pi membuang undi? Semua sibuk nak lead the govt…tak sapa nak jadi pembangkang yg hebat.

Sekian.

Selingan

Si Baung cuti seminggu utk beribadat. Dia ni bila ramai orang cuti dia akan bertapa kat ofis., Tapi kang tiba bulan mengambang, air pasang ke, gerhana matahari ke, dia akan ambik cuti. Hari tu beria tanya pasal Sporingghe..tetengok ambik cuti utk penyucian dirinya je. Sian 'anak2 buah' I tak pi holiday.
Anyway kena cover dia buat procedure kat bilik yg sejuk bedi ni. So damn cold that everything is either jutting out or standing up. Macam aircon 16c and kipas high. Hidung dah sumbat. Next time must remember to put on my thermals and socks. With si Baung ni kan, kenkadang memang mengacau hidup I..kan I ni masih cuti belajar...tapi kalau tak tertonggok depan pintu bilik I tanya itu ini, suh pikirkan itu ini, memang tak sah! And I pulak keep telling myself to say No. Alaaa cakap je..takde salah pun..tapi bila tengok dia terkebil2, serious gua cair. He's my boss but I'm the boss of him, boleh? Kita buat camtu camni, kata I. Ikut suka you lah, katanya (pastu dia pi masuk bilik dia and rungut sensorang, hence why namanya Baung). OK la..its this dynamic relationship betwn him and I. Kasi can lah..
Baby X ngamuk taknak pi tadika pagi ni. Tak puas hati kakaknya cuti semalam and she had to go. Budak ni I dah faham sangat peelnya...the last time when kakak cuti and she had to go in, dia boleh nangis2 ala NY. Ingatkan she was scared ke..rhope2nya dia tak puas hati kakak akan dapat extra tv time. Yesterday I even had to seludupkan kakaknya to my bedroom pagi2 so that when baby x wakes up dia akan ingat kakak dah masuk school. Tapi Tipah ni tak mudah tertipu rhopenya..I had already left this morning so no adegan pegang rotan and acah2. Seriously lah budak ni! Cakap pandai...bila tanya besar nak jadi apa? Dia cakap Princess. So I supposed she doesn't need to finish school to be one. If I were to say, no school, no tv! Dia akan cakap, takpe, dia nak dok diam2 je kat kerusi. And then terkebil2lah dok sensorang. What she likes to do is if I ask her to sort out laci underwear I ke, lipat tudung..kemas dressing table, siram pokok, cuci toilet...
This weekend dia akan start belajar ngaji dgn ustazah yg dtg ke rumah..mestilah I akan jadi mummera jugak kan?

Sent by Maxis from my BlackBerry® smartphone

Jantan yg saya suka cuma Monty saja

Sebabnya pun dia bukan jantan sejati he he he..

2, 3 hari ni i asyik hidung sumbat and sakit tekak. Since Wed night, i dok telan piriton so makcik asyik high saja. Semalam tak masuk office. Hari ni ada discussion but still with the runny nose, tak sanggup nak drive balik nanti. What with Friday traffic and all. So i pun pi la ke GP yg tahun ni je every 3 weeks mesti i buat social call. Dah naik malu dah. Well, i have all the meds at home but i need mc...what on study leave pun nak kena mc? Well, to get out of the discussion cakap mulut saja tak boleh pakai ok...mesti ada evidence based..or it's just me yg memang mengikut book.

Sakit tekak i di sini, sakit lagi tekak Esah di london sinun....bebeh are you ok?? I tau orang yg sakit ni cepat sensitip..so sorry i balas bbm you celum celam je..I asyik high je 2,3 hari ni..Bangun utk 2S je i.e. shishi and solat. I hope misi2 kat QMH tu menjaga you dgn rapi ye..cer kalau you berpacaran dgn JT, mesti dia akan berada di sisi you dopat jam, kan? Ish tapi jantan tak leh percaya. Bayangkan i yg terbongkang kat dalam bilik, kalau tak anak2 i yg check i idup ke dah mati (di samping memekak kat telinga i), kalau harapkan MG mungkin i dah biru lebam bawah selimut pun orang tak sedar lagi. 

Btw, as of this week, i decided yg i mencik dgn semua jantan kat office i. Dependable sangatlah orang itu yg kita cakapkan tempohari tu Esah oi! OK la, kalau kita sakit and perlukan any procedure under GA, dialah makhluk yg paling trustworthy utk carry out that procedure kalau dibandinkan dgn jantan2 lain kat opis tu. Bukanlah sebab dia terrer sangat tapi tendency dia utk buat joke bangang pasal diri kau yg mungil itu masa kau tak sedar adalah nil. Tapi salahnya mamat ni pasal dia suka moan...on and on and on and on. Pastu kalau pasal problem solving skills malam sikitlah....dia rasa macam susah sangat. Tak tau la kut pasal dia jantan and as we know bab2 multi tasking ni jantan memang out - cher tengok jantan yg berbinik lebih dari satu. 2,3 bulan tu nampak comel je la pasal tengah syiok2 lagi, lepas tu rhope hazab! Baju tak bergosok, muka kusam, rambut macam kena seret masuk semak...all because they are not that good at multi-tasking...bini satu pun hit and miss, nak tambah cawangan lagi. Kalau kita ada many problems at one time, we 'compartmentalise' the problems and and cari solution satu2. Masalah dgn kami is tak cukup staff. So i met some people from other places yg willing to help tapi ada lah caranya like only once a week ke diaorg datang, or after office hours. So i told this guy, why don't you identify sektor mana yg you rasa kita (ceh..cakap je kita tapi i kan tengah cuti belajar, dialah sepatutnya yg ambik initiative) perlukan their help, then you write letter (since ko boss kan) officially to invite them. Dia cakap, nantilah tunggu you balik. LAAAAAAAAA! Bukan ke you perlukan pertolongan sekarang?! Tunggu i balik buat apa? And he told me that he has soooo much things to think about right now? Tak ke buat ko angin satu badan?? So i pun cakaplah, takpe, next week i free sikit, let's sit down and kita tengok sama2. OK katanya dengan ceria. Pas tu the incident kat bawah took place. Idak ke i jadi mummera uols?

Anyway back to that jantan tadi tu...dia ni sungguh la tak sabarnya nak tunggu i balik dari phd ni. To the extent now that he'd say, apa2 pun by Jan2013 muka i mesti tertonggok kat office dah. Dia kata dia banyaakkkkk sangat kerja and tak sabar2 nak share dgn i (vavi!). OK la, kalau nak apply extension, the boss will ask for his opinion because i dgn dia je dlm unit tu. Kalau dia kata payah..habislah i kan? Mulut i ni, kalau nak balas cakap jam2 tu kan payah... tapi since he has said it over and over again, silaplah kan? Sempat dah i prepare apa nak ku royankan should he open his mouth again. A few days ago, kenalah pakcik tu. One colleague asked me, Kiah, bila you habis? Belum sempat i jawab, dia menyampuk, apa2 pun she has to come back by Dec. Meletuplah aku! I cakap la yg if i was doing my PhD overseas, we wouldn't be having this conversation. Ni just because  dia nampak muka i hari2, hari2 ke mau agro i? I said, give me a break la...dgn SV sebegitu, duit nak buat research liat nak dapat and dia nak menambahkan perisa lagi? Then dia cakap yg keputusan nak bagi extension tu bukan di tangan dia tapi boss punya kuasa. I said, boss akan tanya pendapat dia and since when boss kita tu berani buat decision sebegitu. Kawan i yg bertanya tadi cakap you are entitled 4 years study leave. Then jantan tu cakap, oh ye ke? I said yes. Then i cakap, camni lah, kalau you taknak sokong should i need an extension nanti, i akan ambik cuti tanpa gaji. Kalau susah sangat, i akan resign. Then dia pun menyampuk, i pun nak resignlah. I said, resignlah, ada aku kisah? Yg buat i lagi meluat, he always goes on and on at me pasal weekend pun tak cukup masa nak catch up dgn office work and tup tup i dapat tau dia pi buat part time kat company lain pulak on Saturdays. Ni tak termasuk private clients o some Fridays...so mengada or what?

I came to the office the next day...dah berazam kalau terserempak dgn mamat ni i nak bagi dia cold shoulder je. So i masuk bilik, tutup pintu. Pastu MSU masuk, of course pintu bilik kena bukak le..kalau tak org ingat tah hapa2 pulak. Ek eleh..pastu jantan moaner tu pun jenguk kepala buat sembang2 kosong..And ek eleh, makcik sorang ni pun layan2 jugak like hati ku langsung tak terluka. Masalah betul jiwa i ni!

Untuk adik2 yg tak tau sapa Mummra, ni ha gambo dia. Dulu dia ni famous berlakon dlm Thundercats.

Pic googled from Mummra gallery.

I'm spooked

The sole reason why i can't tell good stories nowadays is because i am always so pissed with one thing or another. I posted an entry yesterday evening regarding one incident which made me quite mad, then i came in this morning and had it removed. I didn't want to have my anonymity revealed. Sama gak with what just transpired within less than an hour. Hati memang sakit kerana budaya bertenet ni sekarang dah surpass all courtesies such as bertanya face to face or mengangkat tepon. Sending an email to not just the person intended tapi pi addresskan kat semua orang jugak adalah salah satu budaya zaman sekarang yg digunakan utk menjatuhkan orang tertentu. I ni idakle orang penting sangat...memang pun i made a mistake, so pi tegur i la kan...yg kelakarnya, yg sorang datang tegur (i'm fine with this) but yg sorang lagi pulak yg pi hantar email (the ass-istant??). Nothing to do with my studies...this just reminds me why i decided that i needed a breather from the working environment 2 years ago. Tak tau nak cakap kat sapa why i'm pissed off. Nak cakap kat laki, org lelaki ni bukannya paham..dia pikir benda remeh temeh..(lagipun dia nak pi sembayang jemaat dah). Nak cakap kat bff satu malaya, dia tak angkat fon tadi. Nak cakap kat bff tanah inglen, lagi la...asik one sided affair je dgn dia. Anyway, tak boleh nak go into details what happened...i wish to remain anonymous, bar to a few people yg dah kenal i.

Atas permintaan ramai (perasan!), i akan bercerita pasal ha nun di tempat MG. Mintak maaplah ye kalau cite takde berapa sangat berperisa..hati saya masih pedih. About a week ago, MG balik kerja and nampak excited nak bagitau i story. He said, i nampak hantu hari ni. Dalam hati i bercakap, aisey, hopefully idakle celah pokok pisang kitaorg ke..(eh, pokok pisang dah i suh tebang because orang kata cik pon suka bertenggek kat situ, ye ke?). He told me that the offices they're working on or sister office ke hapa bendanya, the security office called him and asked him to view this cctv. They want him to issue a letter/email informing the staff, takde apa2...jangan takut. Apparently, the gorup of staff ada yg taknak datang kerja because apparently takut yg teramat sangat. So i said, what did you see on the CCTV? He said, kat tempat yg terang sikit, benda tu nampak cam a big black giant butterfly berlegar2 kat focus cctv tu. Pas tu sekejap dia cam hilang (bertenggek kat CCTV kut?). Pas tu kat tempat yg tak berapa terang pulak, the thing transformed into bayangan putih yg nampak cam ada bayangan berjalan and it disappeared.

So i asked him, what did you do then? He said, dia pun issuela letter yg mengatakan takde pe pe..I tanya, yg staff tu kena kerja malam ke? Dia kata idakle, takde shift malam. Haa?? Kerja siang pun takut nak datang kerja ke??! Mengada2 kata i! I said yg i ni dedua tempat i kerja lagi tempat jin bersilat idakle kami tak datang kerja, kan? Lagi 'depa' suka main fax machine la, naik turun lift la ikut suka. Weekends sensorang pun kitaorg datang..somemore yg balik malam pun ada sampai angkut sekali la balik ha nun ke rumahnya. I cakap mana staffnya, meh sini i lempang2 sikit. Sorry la, sejak dua menjak ni i agro sikit...

A tribute to MG

I just got back from giving a talk..I knew about this from last month. Started preparing for it early this week, but as always needed the adrenaline to wrap things up..worked on it till 5am this morning, slept for 2 hours, got up, work some more and took a nap, got up, got ready and delivered. I was so nervous because the SV was around..in fact after the talk he said that he was in the audience and that i did a good job. After our meeting (which i will blog about it later), i rasa cam menyampah sesangat. Then bila dia puji2 pulak tadi, hati rasa berbunga2...why do i crave for his approval? Betul ke i did well? Betul la kut because he is not one to pora2 and never ever minced his words, arghhh who cares! (i do actually, so malam ni boleh tidur dgn nyenyaknya).

Tomorrow's mother's day. I think in my household, the person to be celebrated should be MG. Don't worry, this is not going to be about spouse appreciation yg boleh mengeluarkan muntah hijau...

I realised that the past 2 weeks, i have been rather preoccupied with my phd, my presentation...i leave the house before 7am every morning. He wakes Little D up and gets her ready for kindy. Then he'll send her to kindy with Baby X taking a ride in the car as well. Lepas pusing satu round, baru balik rumah, hantar si kecik, then baru pergi kerja. For the past few nights, i would be at the table and he'd entertain the kids, put them to bed sampai tertidur sekali dgn diaorg. Bila baby X merengek tengah malam, dia yg akan tepuk, bangun bancuh susu (even though maid that prepare everything). He hasn't complained yet that petang2 balik kerja takde hot drink...i selalu terlupa nak buat and kalau i ingatkan maid baru dia buatkan. On weekends, he'd be up earlier than me, pergi cari nasik lemak. And he'd take the kids to do groceries. Kalau i rajin i ikut sama, if not he'd go by himself.

He's shy, doesn't talk much and romantic? Satu zarah romantic pun takde kat badannya. When i talk, i don't think he listens to everything i say. He doesn't shower me with gifts, let alone affection. He doesn't realise i'm around pun kut...sekali sekala nak jugak kalau boleh dia ni jenis yg jeles2 gitu...kalau tak mintak saki baki tiket bas dari i (laki sapakah tu ye??? hehe) since i tak naik bas, sekali sekala tu jenguk le dlm keta i kan..kut2 ada setokin jantan ke...oh no no..not MG..

Anyway, this all would not be possible if not for MG...his laidback attitude suits me, now i realise we are a match made in heaven. Happy mother's day MG.

P/S Now you understand Esah, why i can't run away into the sunset with you...you are too much work for me bebey!

I'm spineless

MG, the kids and i went out to have dinner. This is not seomething we do often because bini MG is a homebody..bila dah kat rumah tak kosser nak bersiap nak keluar. So when i decide to go out, MG would never decline. Anyway, i love 'warung/gerai' like food. My favourites are daging masak merah, sotong goreng tepung, kerabu mangga, kailan ikan masin and tomyam. memang menu standard la. Yesterday mem besar decided to check out this nampak cam happening place..selalu nampak bila bawak budak2 pi hospital depa kat BBB. Nama kedainya ada bunyi2 seafood, tapi tak nampak pulak le kat mana aquarium or at least ice box yg pamerkan segala neka seafood. Duduk2 je, dah rasa cam semacam..the kids kept muttering insect! Insect! Ada la 2,3 ekor hardcore lalat...eeeee! Ni masa belum datang food..when our food arrived, with the bau ikan masin (from the kailan dish), lagi bermaharajalela lalat2 tu. Antara makan antara menghalau lalat. Yg i tak tahan tu bila the flies hinggap kat straw..geli geleman tekak ni. MG pestered the kids to finish their food quickly. I cucuk dia suh mention pasal lalat to the staff bila dia pi bayar bill..he said when he did, the staff buat muka selamba je. We are definitely not going back to the place..and i heran how come malam2 tempat tu selalu nampak penuh je..malam2 lalat tak keluar ke??? After that episode, i terus ajak MG to singgah Bangi Kopitiam to pekena jus kedondongnya...just to 'washout' the thought of the lalat from my mind..

On another topic, i will be pretty busy starting this week until the next few months. I'll be collecting my samples. Speaking of that, i encountered with quite an unpleasant lump of lard last week. Sorry for these profanities...you know, i always think chubby, fat, montel, montok people are nicer than skinny ones (hey, i'm fat and i'm nice) but not this woman. I went to meet her because i nak mintak tolong dia ambik blood from my samples. Lagipun memang tu kerjanya..so idakle oleh kerana i dia kena keluarkan jarum dari museum pulak, kan? She does it routinely, so i said next time you buat, take some extras for me, tak banyak, 1 sudu teh or 5ml je.

She then dgn eksennya tanya i, mana research assistant you? I said, well, i don't have any. Then she said, tempat ni asik buat research je. Dah jadi satu beban pulak kat they all yg kerja ambik blood ni. She said, tolong buat surat ye!

I was gobsmacked! I was told off by a kerani (well, she was not really, tapi lebih kurang itu le pangkatnya). Apsal la tuhan ni tak mengurniakan i mulut puaka? I should have said, kalau you tak ambik blood, apa kerja lain yg you buat? Kalau pun i ada RA, does that mean that the subject has to be pricked twice for blood taking? Once by the tub of lard for his/her routine blood test, and the other one by my assistant? Dah nama tempat ni pun teaching hospital, kan? Mengong betul!

Do i have 'door mat' or 'push over' or 'spineless' or 'loser' written on my forehead ke? Why is it that i even have subordinates ridiculing my authority? I terbayang pintu kat workplace B i yg ada terpampang nama i and kat bawah tu tulis consultant...but pergh, takde gaya consultant pun! I couldn't even stand up for myself. Sekali sekala je once in a blue moon i will snap.

Once upon a time, one of my colleagues gave me a very good advice when i first started working at workplace B. I complained to him that there was one staff who asked my assistant, dia tu pakar ke? So, my friend ni said, when you go into the procedure room, do not be friendly with the staff. Masuk2 je terus marah sana sini like semua tak kena. Complain pasal time management, pasal client management etc. He said, after that tak sapa berani perkotak katikkan you termasuklah yg pakar buat orang tidur tu. He was right. I only had to do it once, pas tu even the pakar yg buat org tidur tu pun tak berani nak buat sesuka hati depa ngan my clients.

I may bump into the lump of lard again tomorrow..let's hope that the moon is blue tomorrow night..;P

Update

What can i say? Give me a theme and i'm sure i can think of something wacky...if it was MG, he'd say to the kids, mummy dah gila. To me he'd say, mid-life crisis ka?

The theme of the company dinner was 'masquerade'..i didn't tell MG what it was because i taknak dia cakap kitaorg copy company diaorg. Because the year before, his was 'movies' and then so was mine...cam ada la pulak connection between both our workplaces kan..(when he had his, i didn't ask him what costume he wore because at that time i tengah chom ngan dia).

Anyway, when i got to know that the theme was masquerade, i already had in mind how it should be. We went to the costume hire and i saw this blonde wig. I thought it was fated, cam tau2 je that i wanted to go as 'Marie Antoinette'. But i couldn't get the baju kembang2 cam zaman tu..bajunya ada silap sikit la zamannya..but the wig and mask were good enough. Sampai buat research on gaya2 makeup zaman tu..sampai siap beli foundation yg putih tu (but the shop assistant did warn me against putting it on too much..taknak la jadi clown pulak kan??).

So, the night came...of course i was the only one with the blonde hair..ceh! You know the young ones? Depa semua pakai baju glamer2..ada cam pengantin, princess what have you lah..and there i was macam dah pergi tersilap party..like my austin powers last year, i had two pengapit (friends that i've talked into what to wear to suit my 'play acting'-talk about power of persuasion)..yes, they dressed medieval-ly sort of also but they were pretty and wig diaorang takle kaler gila cam i. So, from MarieAntoinette, halfway through the dinner, i must have looked like Cinderella's Step mother and them the ugly sisters. At the end of the night, i just looked like a Drag Queen Esah oiii! Sib baik la i tak ajak MG sama to the dinner, he would have been really embarraseed of his wife.

Tahun ni potong stim sikit..there was no best dressed award for the staffs, only the trainees. I bet my little finger that i would have won it otherwise. Nevertheless, the big boss did acknowledge my effort by mentioning the fact that i stopped the traffic while getting out of the car at the front of the hotel lobby. Mesti orang ingat sapa la pi tempah drag queen ni...

All in all, dinner was good. Didn't get to drive home in the costume since terpaksa tanggal and bagi kat my friend yg nak pulangkan all costumes early the next day...kalau tak could have had fun menakutkan anak dan laki kat rumah..ataupun mana le tau sesapa tu tetiba berminat nak jadi my King Louis pulak ke..But hish..seram gak drive memalam sensorang nak balik rumah dengan muka putih pucat lesi..kang ada la pulak nak kawan2 ingatkan kita ni sama spesis tegak bulu roma as i typed this).

P/S memang cemas gak bila dah sampai rumah. Hish pesal la MG or maid tak pasang lampu kat porch. Gelap gelita OK..dah la tu, rumah takde pagar...kot kaki kena baham ngan stray dogs ke..(a few have been sighted lately).


So, this pic's for you Lukmang seperti yang dijanjikan (but tempoh tontonan sekejap je na, pasal kena remove sat lagi. Idak kang ada budak kecik ngigau lak..)

Err..DesertRose, gambor2 kat pesbuk tu gambor dedolu...haa..nampak tak sekarang pau terlebih yeastnya?


(Masa utk view gambar Drag Queen telah tamat..sehingga di tahun hadapan..taraaa)

Could have been another twilight zone

This morning i chom kat MG. Ada budak bulu berak atas katil maid, we didn't catch the culprit in action but tengok modus operandi cam Princess Boyot je punya kerja. Makcik tu memang ada masalah jiwa sikit. Kerusi yg dia suka duduk kena ubah sikit, dia akan kencing atas rug kat dapur. Toilet dia kotor sikit, dia akan melepas atas sofa..the maid pun rasa2 yg bagi dia present pagi tadi was si Boyot because she said she was cleaning the litter box when si Boyot tu datang nak gunakan toiletnya. She took a look and walked away. And we knowlah dia pergi mana kan? Ghope taik masing2 pun i dah kenal sapa punya tau! But nooooo...MG had to put the blame on si JPB (jgn pandang belakang)..i said mentang2 la buruk kawan tu, asyik kena tuduh je. Padahal, she spends most of her time in our bedroom tak nah pulak la dia melepas. But melly? yes, bila angin kuskusnya datang....As for Monty, awal pagi dah keluar ada meeting rukun tetangga gamaknya, so he was off the hook. Anyway, he's always had impeccable bathroom manners therefore tak pernah la accident mana2 or saja nak buat dajal.

Today i had to be at workplace B. The office yg i selalu lepak is under renovation so the staff showed me where i could port. At their other offices at another wing yg takdak sapa orang duduk OK! Ada 7,8 bilik yg nama officer je lekat kat pintu, orangnya takde and tempat tu jadi cam stor tempat simpan barang. Haish! i really had no other choice...nak tak nak terpaksa la guna one of the rooms. The staff told me, CK, i akan kunci pintu kat luar ni, sometimes ada orang luar masuk. It's pretty dangerous because there's no one else up here (perlukah kau emphasise on the fact that i'm totally alone?). Pukul berapa CK nak balik, nanti saya datang unlockkan pintu atau kalau bebila CK nak keluar, tepon je saya. I told her that i'm looking at doing my work until 3pm....

Jenuhla mulut i terkumat kamit baca ayat kursi, 3 qul and what have you. Sempat jugak cakap kat sesapa tulah kan, aku ni bukan orang luar, orang sini jugak. Nak tumpang buat kerja je, so aku tak kacau kau, kau jangan kacau aku...

Sib baik la ada pesbuk, hp pelbagai..idakle rasa sunyi sangat. At one point rasa adehhhh sakit perut, mana toiletnya?? Eh, kalau ada pun cemas gak nak gunakan toiletnya..almaklumlah, masa i kat sekolah asrama dulu, penggunaan toilet adalah dielakkan sama sekali bila berseorangan. I didn't leave for lunch, sib baik ada tapau mee goreng dari petronas on the way to work. When you are alone, rasa sejuk sangat la pulak...pashmina ilek, apatah lagi selimut masam i dari workplace A kan? All i had was telekung...haruskah i? Yes, i did don my telekung because it was damn cold. but i didn't do anything naughty like berjalan kat corridor in my telekung. Nak kamjatkan orang (mana ada orang kat atas tu) nanti aku yg mati kamjat..

I was there from 830am..tengok2 eh dah kul 1230pm..then eh dah kul 3pm..and then the staff came to unlock me. She asked me how i was. Surprisingly it was so peaceful, no noise, no distraction whatsoever. Takde orang mengacau bergossip, ajak makan, ajak sopping kaedahnya..so i told her, best la kat sini. Esok CK datang lagi ke sini OK?

Seriously la...am i tempting fate?

Mood bengang

I have been busy and yes, stressed out. Dah la tu kan, hari ni mood tak baik, rupa2nya kawan baik yg dah lama tak menjenguk (agaknya hilang sebab stress jugak) tiba tanpa bagi warning dulu. Perut keroncong sebab sibuk mengadap laptop sampai tak ingat nak makan. Then the smell of pizza wafting into my room menambahkan lapar lagi...rupa2nya neighbour sebelah (kat office la) order pizza. But kengkadang perangai orang kat sini ngalahkan kat tadika lagi: i kawan baik dgn you, so you tak leh kawan baik dgn org lain. Kita fren2 duaorg je...Get it? It doesn’t matter that the decent thing to do is to pelawa jugak org yg tercium bau ni kan?? Lagipun, bukannya kita pernah gaduh ke apa, kan? But ni because ‘we all dua org fren2’ la ni and 3’s company. Pas tu boleh lak ada org dari London sinun buat joke bangang on pesbuk pasal me needing attention???! Haaa? Aku kecik hati tau! (dah la pizza memang makanan kegemaran i). So i packed up my stuff, left and went home.

Anyway, i wanted to hand in my research proposal last week. My SV cam tau2 je, dia hantar email asking everyone under his supervision to come and meet him for a short presentation. So i cam kembang kincup hidung boleh bayang betapa bangganya i nak menyerahkan benda tu finally, the next day. So the day before i spent a marathon of 8 hours dok menaip benda tu tanpa henti. I took a break during late afternoon and ingat nak bega2 sikit before i turned in that night...so what do you know? My netbook crashed! Tak leh bukak langsung! And i kan terlebih optimistic..i didn’t back up my work! So all 8 pages and 8 hours of work went down the drain. Ingin ku humbankan je netbook HancurPunah tu. Keluar semua peluh jantantino, berdoa bercupak tapi apa nak buat, nasik dah jadi bubur. All i could do that night was to write down whatever i could remember and esoknya awal pagi lagi dah masuk office pasal nak retrieve my old Bell laptop (yang selalu i ingat dol je tapi berjasa jugak dia ngan i). Meeting yg kononnya petang dipercepatkan sejam lagi pulak..aisey man! I could only reproduce the methodology part je..intro langsung gone. But must be my doa bercupak tu, my SV was in a good mood....so i didn’t get slaughtered.

Ituje la citenya..

I need to finish another batang to de-stress

I got told off by the supervisor for taking soooo long to come up with my research proposal. In not so many words, i'm lembab. (i tak berani nak cakap kat dia yg ada 3,4 orang of my colleagues yg saing sama i pun maknanya lembab le juga ye? Tapi i tengok diaorg happyyyyy je?) Anyway, i made the appointment to see him pasal rasanya lama tak jumpa, lagipun i thought i want to 'tell him off' for not replying to my emails. Heyy, my principle is that, you don't actually need to be physically near me (i very much would like it to be this way) but kalau i ada benda nak tanya, jawab, get it? Anyway, i pulak yg kena...rasanya dah 10 tahun i tak kena tegur ngan cikgu i, last time was when i did my masters. I said to MG yesterday, why is it that eventhough i dah jadi professional semua tapi bila nak pi jumpa supervisor, mesti tak leh tidur malam, sakit perut, airliur kering..he said, because you tak study. Ewah2...! Memang la concentration span i singkat...yes i do fall asleep easily, but that's how i've been dari undergrad lagi but OKKKKK je...ok la plus the fact that i've taken up swimming like nobody's bussiness now cam nak compete in the next olympics je. (nak digress sekejap..told MG the other day, hey u, i ada swimmer's body now..Dia tengok i ngan ghope yg tak percaya...I cakap, ni ha, lengan berbelang, badan belakang berbelang (yg tan)..MG cakap tu cam body buruh Indon je. Hish mulut laki aku tu!)

I was so stressed out about my SV's comments, there are some elements of truth in it. Memang i need to buck up kalau nak grad in 2012..ni taking my own sweet time, really burying myself in the literature. Speaking of 2012, kalau dunia dah nak kiamat then, sempat ke i grad huh? If so, what's the point of this kan? Baik enjoy gila2.

Berikutan dgn tahap stress dan malu i, i needed to de-stress. I pun ajakla kawan pembunuh nyamuk i untuk merasmikan batang import from my trip to Medan last week. (Yg ni cite lain). Datanglah kawan i tu ke sekolah i and kitaorg pun pi lepak kat Kopitiam ni yg kitaorg rasa utk org hip je (atau org2 yg perasan hip). Baru sempat sebatang, guess who walked in? My SV! Potong steam betul! Kawan i yg takde kena mengena ngan sekolah i tu pun sibuk memadamkan api...tah hapa2 tah haha.

I was left with another 2 choices to destress: balik and tido like there's no tomorrow or gi swim. Nak tido tak boleh pasal ada client after lunch, nak swim kena tunggu sampai kul 5 utk pool bukak balik. So i decided to see the client and wait until 430 baru balik and go for a swim. Tengok2 pool pulak tutup utk maintenance. Really not my day la!

(ni semua akibat berfoya2 tak hingat dunia kat Medan. I went for some work related thingy tapi enjoy yg lebih).

Thou shall not conform ..

Wahai kengkawan sekalian, entry ini dah diedit. Actuallynya i mengutuk rules and regulations kat sekolah i tengah belajar but pas tu i seriau le pulak takut org yg kenal i baca. Kang tak pasal2 boss suh karang show cause letter pulak. I selalu ingat i ni anonymous but over the years bila tulis blog we tend to share bits and bobs about our lives...kalau those around us ada baca mungkin orang tu can put two and two together jadi sepuluh! Tak ke haru! The reason i change this blog add ni dulu pun because ada colleague jantan i baca. JANTAN ok! (jantan yg ada ciri2 joyah). I thought he would have lost interest nak mengoogle gigli CK but we had a conversation yesterday, rope2nya dia mengaku yg dia silent reader CK! I made him swear tak pi pukul canang kat org lain, he said he wouldn't...(NEO, if you are reading this, siap you kalau you pi cakap kat org lain. I picit2 you know what! Putus sedara kita). To think of it, the other colleague yg dok sibuk nak baca i punya blog and he managed to pun was this other guy. Hmmm..pesal la semuanya jantan yg nak sibuk2? Hence cite kat bawah ni dah kena crop, OK?

That's one thing about our 1Malaysia ni. Semua kena pakai rules and regulations. Kena record semua yg kita buat, kalau tak, tak dapat ISO. Nak itu ini kena isi borang. Nak berceramah kat rumah kawan kena mintak permission (eh, ni dah cite lain..) So, sesapa yg nak buat party tupperware, premiumbeautiful or zoolian watch out. Nak mintak duit dari eLHDN punye le payah...tapi kalau dia nak mintak duit balik dari kita senang je! They owe me about 5k tapi sampai la ni tak hidu pun bau duitnya. I ambik borang eLHDN kat WM because it's closest to my office tapi gamaknya yg had WM and SA where my branch is tak kawan kut..SA hantar surat kat i cakap kalau puan nak duit puan sila lengkapkan borang tahun 2000, 2005 and 2006..aik? Bukan i dah isi 2X...oooo...now i remember, last time i took it back to WM, not to SA. And i wonder benda2 camni not online ke? How many more times do i need to fill in the same forms?
Anyway, i was quite impressed bila i renew my passport kat SA last week dlm 2 jam je dah siap. Tak puas la round2 SACCMall and kompleks. Tapi memula tu cuak gak ngan adik aci ni tanya kenapa i tak pi renew kat Damansara or WM which is nearer to where i live??? (ya ke?). Eh i nak jawab aku punya suka le...(dah depa bukak cawangan dikelilingi oleh tempat2 shopping, must she ask? Lagipun i ingat, if it had taken me 5 hours ke, boleh le i jenguk my PIL and tido tengahari kat rumah diaorg. I memang menantu mithali).
OK la enough i mengomel ni, silap2 kena tahan pulak...ye la..i ni kan takde protection dpd HM The Queen macam org tu….

Update

All this week, i was at 'school'. Lab orientation. Since some parts of my research require lab techniques, so kena la diajar. I did biochemistry in my 1st year and that was like what? 16 years ago? Menatang pipette masa tu pun panjangnya dekat sedepa and guna ibu jari je nak stop stop. Anyway, the so called orientation tu idakle structured. Most of the times me and another 3 other bebudak hingusan nak buat masters were left standing outside the lab menunggu org nak mengajar. All the standing around,stagnant je, kat suhu bilik 20cel (because nak preserve equiment, tissues, chemicals etc.) menyakitkan tulang belakang i...not mentioning rasa asik nak terkencing je. Well folks, inilah hakikatnya hidup i for at least the next 2 years...jadi lab mouse. I dah terimagine diri i sebagai scientist and bekerja hingga larut malam nak dapatkan results....keep forgetting that i ni ada anak2 kat rumah and the fact that lazimnya kat mesia ni...mana ada org kerja lewat (melainkan set2 korparat) pasal takut kena s.a.m.p.u.k. Apparently, kalau office hours, kenkadang the traffic in the lab is bad, so, kalau nak aman, buat kerja after 5pm...ye lah tu.

I heran betul...masa i kat obersea dulu, idakle fikiran i merewang ingat bebenda tu and i wasn't scared pun. Masa i kerja kat sana dulu, lepas kerja i selalu nak guna internet, esp. on fri evenings. You know la, mat salleh ni on fridays la semua batang hidung tak kelihatan because they go to the pubs. Sekali sekala when i left the comp lab mesti dah gelap gelita kat corridor pasal org nak jimat letrik. Meraba2 le kita ni cari suis, pegi ke basement ambik barang and baru balik...idakle kena apa2...Then masa i buat masters pun cam tu. Nak balik ke hall of residence lalu celah2 buildings..kita takut kat bebudak remaja je kat sana tetiba muncul because diaorg tu le terkenal ngan perangai cam jin afrit. I hope, none of my experiments will require me to kena stay back sampai bermalam kat lab..kalau idak, sapa le i nak mintak upah tolong temankan i....harus aku mintak tukar research ke social science je kang...atau sesapa ada nak share ayat2 pendinding ngan i ke?

Anyway, bangun pagi tadi i rasa maaaalaaaass je nak pi sekolah. I pun sms la coordinator and cakap sorry i nak kena sort out some clients, won't be in today. Itule masalahnya murid lebih tua dari cikgu...pasal dia segan2 ngan i n dia cakap OK. Bukannya apa, i'm the type yg, well, you get me out of my routine (i.e. nowadays ni read, read and more reading) so better make it worth it la...so, all the standing around, course pun not structured, ticked me off a little bit.

But...no way did i stay at home...i pi masuk opis...tapi taula ka..opis banyak distractions! I was like a long lost son. Tak putus berhubung la tetamu (in other words colleagues yg mengacau). It was so good coming 'home'....

Memories are made of..?

I presented the first draft of my proposal this afternoon to my 2 supervisors. Damn...the research is gaining more breadth as time goes by....while they were discussing and getting overexcited, i just wanted to say, hey stop talking...these supervisors kan...they get OTT with their ideas, syok sangat ada khadam nak merealisasikan their ideas and all the time in my mind, i dengar bunyi ker-chinggg! You know why? It's not easy to recruit subjects especially dlm bab2 nak bagi darah ni so, i ada strategi utk 'merewardkan' sesiapa yg sukarela tu...obviously dari poket i lah kan...so the bigger the research, the more subjects are required, so bye bye kaylcc, bye bye internet shopping for a long time....Talk about just a few months ago me moaning, ooooo..life isn't challenging anymore...hah! ambik kau! Now to think of it, would be much easier if i had opted to try losing weight ke, train for marathon ke...

Last time i balik kampung, my sis n family were there also. We arrived a few hours before bukak puasa and there she was with her daughters making kuih raya. I envy her energy and enthusiasm...most of all, i am envious that long after she's gone, her daughters will have memories of them making kuih raya with their mama just like what we had with our mak.

If my children were able to give their opinions now, should i be gone tomorrow, they'd probably think long and hard....what kind of memories would they have of me? My head is forever buried in something....kalau tak fictional reading material, it'll be work stuff and obviously, lately scientific articles..they'd probably say, mummy selalu terbongkang atas katil dikelilingi buku and kertas. Bila depan tv, laptop atas riba, selalu kata don't touch, ni 'homework' mummy (walaupun some of the times melayari non-academic sites...hehe). Mummy's also a spoil sport...she'd wrestle us in bed pasal nak gosokkan gigi and also dictate daddy what can/not be bought for us to eat (no sweets, Chocs OK, vitagen less sugar version only etc.)She hardly combs our hair (because sorang botak and sorang maid sikatkan) but she does it for melly...of course she talks to the cats...carries Monty into the toilet with her while she's doing you know what. (Now they've 'mentioned' it, mummy diaorg eccentric gila!)

OKlah, nak pi tido...

Borak-borak

Amboi2.....berlawan2 nampaknya kawan kita tu menghapdate blog ye.....anyway, keep up with the good work Esah, wherever tempat foya2 you may be.

Today i browse through suratkhabar BM and tersentap kejap i. Frankly speaking, MG jarang beli BM kecuali bila MM dah habis kat stesen minyak sepelaung dari rumah i tu (dekat rumah mak pak i, bila weekend je, kitaorg ni dididik dgn disogokkan segala neka jenis suratkhabar (cam ko Esah, beli Daily Sport lah, The Sun lah come weekend). Daripada yg berbau serius sampai la ke tabloid. Agaknya kalau ada adikberadik i yg multi lingual tentu TamilNesan or NanYangSIangPau pun masuk. Bila kawin ngan MG, i macam tersentap because come Sunday morning, what??? Ini je???) Anyway, macam saja nak bagi hati i direntap2, one page screaming, Anuar ada aura.....Idak ke i terkedu and luka lama berdarah kembali? FYI, satu bulan i mendambaka adegan2 Anuar Jeng bukak tie, cufflinks segala neka dia. Bila time i nak bayar (thru website) nengok2 tiket dah kena rerelease you!!!! Siapa la yang bongok menguruskan the tickets hari tu??? (me!). So this is something we shan't talk about for a very long time (at least until mamat tu buat konsert lagi).

Then dalam suratkhabar Bintang they were focusing on those people with mental problems/handicaps found in a particular welfare home...tak berbaju and caged or chained like animals. Imagine kan, if the house let's say has 50 inmates, petugasnya less than 10....camna nak buat 24/7 care kan? Don't get me wrong, i bukan menyokong what they are doing, i find it despicable but i think it's the govt yg perlu bertanggung jawab...channel more money, create more posts, create more public awareness supaya tak lah bila ada je family member yg ada mental sickness terus je dump kat satu tempat, tak tengok2 dah and these people are subject to abuse.

Speaking of people with learning disability ni, my exposure to it came quite early in life. Learning disability is a broad, general term...kenkadang tu, tak didiagnose pun betul2 apa silapnya. Esah lebih tau, kan Esah? Anyway, at this kaum kerabat house of mine kat kampung, setiap kali i balik kampung untuk beraya barulah melawat makcik pakcik ni because rumahnya jauh ke dalam. At a corner of the kitchen tepi tingkap, there was this person yang terdampar atas tilam yg ak bersarung. Ada sikit2 bau hancing pun. Tak boleh bersuara...agaknya her many siblings pun forgot that she existed and the only interaction she got was probably when time dia nak makan kut. Setiap kali we all melawat i would ask my mum, what was wrong with her. Apparently she was born normal but demam panas sampai jadi macam tu. Her parents were loaded bukannya takde duit. Now i always wonder why tak dibelikan kerusi roda utk dibawa hirup angin kat luar tu sekali sekala atau kalau tak nak bela sangat gajikan orang untuk bela? (During that time it was pretty easy to get a local maid). Many years later we heard that she had passed on, tanpa disedari oleh her family members. Sad but she clearly was much better off in the other world.

A few years back, a cousin of mine wanted me to recommend a paediatrician to have a look at her nephew. He was 5 but he refused to communicate, limited eye contact and activenya jenis tak makan saman. A few diagnoses came to mind but of course i am no expert so i refered him to someone i know who dealt in paediatric neurology. They came back, i asked what the verdict was? Ooo..the doctor thinks he is autistic, suggested where he can have support but we are not buying it (ni termasuklah my cousin his aunt). The parents thought so because dia tak menepati semua ciri2 autistic child..they were banking on one factor and that was, he would give his parents a hug whenever he was asked to. An 'orang alim' had told the parents that masa dia dalam perut lagi dia selalu kena sampuk. Tsk tsk tsk...it may or may not be the correct diagnosis (autism) but in the meantime the boy is losing out in terms of education - socially, academically etc. It's the stigma of having an 'abnormal' child requiring special attention (i.e. kena regularly jumpa speech therapist, physician, psychiatrist etc.) sebab tu parents in denial kut.

Then, there was this one trainee. She got married masa tengah belajar, soon after that she started to stare into empty space. Taknak betinteraksi dgn orang. Husband inks that dia kena 'buatan orang' (if i may add,ada kelucahan yg i nak kata tapi i'll let it go since this is quite serious topic) because kononnya mak tak setuju depa kahwin. To tangguhkan study, she was required to be seen by an expert, hence a psychiatrist. She was diagnosed as schizophrenic. The problem is walaupun dah lama jugak benda ni berlaku husband still tak boleh terima kenyataan, still cakap yg dia dah OK, dah jumpa 'orang alim' dah. Denial = tak bagi bini ubat = lagi teruk sakit bininya.

On a much cheerful topic, MM baru didatangkan khas oleh MG...what? Si Memek jadi tajuk utama? Bila ditanya samada dia masih bersama Normang, dia hanya tersenyum manja?? And sebab tu lelaki mudah tertawan?Ptuiihhhh! Memek juga cakap yg dia kini senang berkawan dengan Normang because dia bukan laki orang sekarang...yeah la you punya pasal la! Cam takde jantan lain nak orat. Speaking of this, Ok la Normang tu nampak macho, hensem...bebudak muda cam si Memek tu mudahla nak terpikat. What about si penyanyi unsur2 arab and that ustaz??? I rasa kalau dah memang betul bila you orat tu jantan masih laki orang, just be dignified and tak yah cakap banyak2. The least pun cakap la, saya minta maap dah tersuka nak wat camna?? Ni boleh nak menyaman bini or exbini orang tu pulak for meghoyan. Shame on you!

On one last cerita before i go off...a fe years ago, mak i sibuk berkempen mintak derma utk ustaz kat tempat dia ngaji pi sambung masters kat Indo. He's still young, late 20s kut. Sibukla dia berkempen cakap ustaz tu sponsor seniri etc. Sebagai pendidik (cewah) dan jugak because i ni anak mithali (and mak i selalu ingat i paling banyak duit antara adik beradik - mak, org lain pun banyak duit gak tapi depa selalu buat muka susah..haha), i pun menderma. Then, 2 years later mak i bercerita la pasal ada ustaz dia kawin lagi satu kat Indo masatengah belajar and the 1st wife masa jumpa my mum kat masjid peluk my mum and mengalir air matanya. So, Cik Kiah pembela nasib wanita ni pun bertanya, is this the same ustaz yg i ada gak contribute duit belajar dia ni??? A ah, cakap my mum. Whaaattt? Orang suruh pi belajar bukannya kawin. Tu la students jantan ni, senang sangat nak hilang konsentrasi. Bila jadi student je nak bercinta (i'm sure dia cintan cintu ngan 1st wife dia masa student). What happened? Mak i cakap towards the end masa nak siapkan thesis dia, dia selalu study sesama ngan pompuan ni. So.....you guess the rest la kan.

So i said to my mum, if i have the chance to meet him, i'll make sure i stare bermakna kat dia. Amboi! Orang pergi belajar, ni sempat tambah cawangan lagi. Asyik nak bercinta je, camna Melayu nak maju!