Hati bukan kristal

My BFF cakap (BFF yang bukan Esah..eh..i ada tau kawan lain...), if we encounter a problem and then the next day kita masih terfikir2 pasal problem tu ataupun nak tido malam termimpi2 pasal tu, it must be something yang kita take it personally.

Once upon a time, there was one senior colleague ni  cakap kat BFF i yg i tak serious in my work. Dia kata, tengok cam Baung tu..serioussss je. Well, i have always been a joker kan..jarang tengok muka i panjang 14. But that doesn't mean i don't get things done atau i tak dok memikirkan pasal kerja. So my BFF tu stood up for me lah..dia cakap, eleh! Si Baung tu yg liat nak pi workplace B for the weekely session and i pulak, buatlah procedure kat OT tu dengan perut besar up to the day yg esoknya i masuk sepital to beranak. The difference between Baung and i pulak...he moans about work all the time...you'd think dialah yg kena menyelesaikan harga minyak yg naik tak tau turn tu..whereas, i'd drown my sorrows in pi makan sushi sensorang or tido...i don't moan that much. Anyway, what the senior colleague said about me memang menyebabkan i lost sleep that night...and a few nights after that until lah my maid ran off, and i had other bigger problem to think about.

Anyway, panjang mukadimah tu. Yesterday, Baung dgn innocentnya datang kat i and tanya if i can recommend any expert from workplace B or workplace C yg i kenal to give a talk. i said, huh? talk apakah ini? Well, he said, it's part of a workshop he's be organising for our trainees. Memula mata i besar, pastu dikecikkan.....dalam kepala otak ternigiang2 sore psychoterist i (esah ler, sapa lagi kan?)..she said, i must always let people know how i feel. Jangan dah 45x bey bey baru i nak pi cakap kat orang tu balik and in the meantime, i'd kill myself many times over it. I cakap kat Baung yg i tak tau menau apa workshop yg he's trying to conduct, apa programnya, apa objektifnya and now he's asking boleh i recommendkan orang? Pastu, buat kerja sensorang like dia sorang je lah kat dept kitaorg (i ngan dia je lah pun) or that we have 10 orang dlm dept and i ni junior plankton je ke yg tugasnya jaga air mineral je ke? i kata lepas tu you akan moan 4000x about manning a one man show! Well, Baung terus melarikan diri dia sambil muka yg menunjukkan 'sorry i asked'. Bengang betul i! Then Esah and I psychoanalyse about it on our way home. I cakap yg other then his tendency to moan from here to high heavens, i trust him implicitly. Dia takdak zarah mengenakan orang atau manipulative kerana dia 'warak' - oklah..warak cara ugama dia. Tapi i still nak dia tau yg i marah because he sidelined me bila buat benda2 penting camni. I said, oklah..i nak bagi dia cold shoulder satu minggu...i nak dok je dlm bilik, kunci pintu pasal i tak nak dia masuk bilik i..kalau dia berinteraksi dgn i, i tak harapkan dia mintak maap (typical of men kan) but he does have a way yg buat i, ok la..bongoknya aku nak agro terlebih2...( i said, ni mesti pasai dia set2 rajin baca 'quran' - versi dia..sebab tu orang tengok sejukkk je hati). He would just meleser2.....unlike Neo tu yang i merajuk setaun lebih pun dia tak datang pujuk you..buat bodooooohhh je. Memang dasar jantan ikan yu!

Anyway, this morning i came in, checked my email, tetengok ada email dari dia yg dihantar kul 430pm semalam. Kena jegil dgn i kul 330pm..Adalah sejengkal jugak emailnya, menerangkan apakah yg telah berlaku and why he did what he did. Mendayu2 jugaklah bunyinya...Cemana ni Esah..iman i dah goyah dah ni...i can only bolt myself in my room for like one day..OK la..we'll see how long i can tahan not replying his email and tak pi loiter kat corridor harap2 ditegur dek Baung.