Saya tertipu

I had a lousy week. I went to see my 'bapak'. I was not so disturbed when i left his office but like always, pentium 4 processor takes at least 12 hours to process the info. I asked for more fun to buy chemicals. He asked me how much? I quoted a figure, can buy toyota vios. He said, what?? That much? I said yes, remmeber last year after a discussion you decided to inflate my sample size? Well...

He said the school has not got that kind of money...i said, ok...(i couldn't remember what i said actually because i was stunned). The most he could release is 20k. I said, well, i'm getting about 20k for my postgrad grant. So he told me to look for the rest of the money. He asked me to speak to my boss..i said, i can tell him right now that i'd be lucky to get some funding from the place where i work but i shall try and speak to the boss. Then i left the office...

The next day, the anger crept in...i felt cheated. I'm on my last leg...the research is nearly complete..i need the funding to get the chemicals to process the blood i have been collecting over the past one year. He told me to increase my sample size and yet now he tells me, if all else's fail, to reduce it. After one year of hard work? When i registered, i asked him, shall i apply for a research grant? He said, what for? No need.

Know what? i'm damn pissed off. As expected, my boss said to me, camna nak tolong? Kita bukan ada that kind of money (this is so not true..samada nak release atau tak je..the 'firm' generates money. And bayangkan, buat duit and modal org lain, get it?). Yes, i'm still mad, a bit hurt, disappointed and slightly depressed. Not because i can't see the solution to this problem but because i feel very let down by the people that should be looking after my welfare. Like my 'bapak', it should be his concern because i'm his student and this is also his research. And also my boss yg takut that if he says yes to me, in the future nanti ramai akan meminta2..

I will write the necessary letters and make the necessary phone calls asking for money. Why? Utk cukup syarat je. But mark my words my bapak nanti akan annoyed balik dgn i because these people will surely ask, apa SV dia buat??

This week shall pass..i'm not going to let this 'takde duit' problem hinder my progress. Lepas dah habis sakit hati and dah menangis berbaldi nanti, i shall call up the companies, and proceed to order stuff that i need. So what?? I bukan banyak duit tapi nasib baiklah ada save up some money for things like this la kut. Kalau dapat some funding, ok, kalau tak dapat pun, so what? Org2 yg berkenaan ingat i akan merintih2 macam kap lam mati laki ke? My colleague ingatkan i yg menuntut ilmu ni adalah satu jihad, so i am on my jihad..tapi sapa yg buat taik dgn i tu, ingat2 la sikit akan hukum karma.

p/s no more lip lap or anak katak, anak biri or anak vavi for the time being. I need to save up for chemicals? Did anyone say cuka getah? Might come in handy some day, mana le tau kan..

Mari ketawa

I am soooo tired tonight. MG disahkan mengidap influenza-like illness..berjangkit dgn officemate dia. What i can't understand about him and his mates, kalau dah selsema, batuk etc, dok je le kat rumah diam2..ni tak...nak jugak dtg kerja. As if tak boleh reschedule meetings, or ada bangunan tak siap ke, pokok tak tanam ke kalau depa tak datang kerja. It's not as if he's like this one and only brain surgeon ke or addison montgomery yg obgyn plus neonatal surgeon (sorry, watched too much Grey's anatomy). Then he will pick up whatever bugs there are in the air and pas tu akan jangkit kat anak2. And those two girls because dah keturunan lelah, kalau demam sikit mesti melarat2 selsema and batuknya. And siapakah org yg penat?? Sebab kena bangun malam tepuk belakang and bagi neb semua? I lah kan...I rasa sesapa yg macam dah rupa separuh nak mati dgn selsema and batuk kokol, dok rumah je la...so irresponsible tau!

And the kids have been annoying me obviously since the dad tengah jadi zombi sekarang. Little D insisted nak baca buku fairy tales sendiri..no more Peter&Jane. Tapi sekejap2 akan tanya, 'apa w.o.m.a.n mummy?' Apa g.i.n.g.e.r.b.r.e.a.d mummy? In between baby x pulak mintak dibacakan...urrghhhh! Penat! All i want to do is veg out. Patutnya analyse results but bawakla log book tu kulu kilir, bukaknya tak, habisnya tak jugak.

Let's talk about people, because i can feel Esah saying, gossip lagi best. A datang kat i, mengadu yg B suka cakap besar dan sometimes puts her down. I said, gelakkan je la kat dongengan B tu, toksah ambik pot. A cakap, she cannot one, pasal dia selalu rasa rendah diri sangat dengan B...dia cakap napa B nak bersaing2 dgn dia, apa yg dia ada pun? I said exactly, pasal yg jiwa kacaunya bukan awak tapi B, so pedulikkan dia. Tapi tadi masa i tengah khadaq hajat (when i do my thinking mostly), i terpikir balik pasal si B...yeah...dia pun ada jugak attempt bercakap2 besar dgn i and memang i rasa geram pun. Once B pernah cakap kat i, whatt?!! Little D is already one plus but still cannot talk?? My daughter dulu dah boleh nyanyi twinkle2. Tapi budak tu dah besar panjang sekarang, takdak le pulak ahli kelab mensa ke kan...Masa A nak bercuti ke B@li, i cakap la, you will enjoy it there..best! B had the cheek of saying this infront of me..'what? you want to go to that dumpy place??' It turned out that A loved it so much, did a lot of shopping..pastu kitaorg bersembang2 about what each of us got up to kat situ and B sulkily said, ye ke....i dulu teman my boss pi meeting, so i spend two nights je. It turned out that rhopenya dia kat Kut@ je but mulut nak membagi comment macam dia expert sangat.

A said that once they were among some friends and they were discussing about how masing2 punya daughters tak reti buat kerja kat dapur. Waa...tapi kawan kita si B ni cakap, eh..anak dia selalu masak pasal dulu kat obersea kena masak. Tapi sejak diaorg whole family dah pindah ke rumah baru ni and dapur lengkap sangat, anak dia dah tak tau camna nak masak because dia biasa campak2 je. Hmmm..banyak isi yg nak disampaikan dlm ayat dia tadi yakni yg anaknya pandai masak, anaknya belajar obersea and the fact that dapur rumahnya sekarang canggih..tak kesian ke uols kat org camni?? Whereas melalui dia jugaklah satu masa dulu, dia pernah cakap yg bila anaknya bersiap nak pergi kerja, baju yg tak jadi pakai berterabut atas katil etc and then maid akan masuk bilik utk kemas. Basically anaknya mim alip lam sim..

Ada sekali tu, A pakai baju baru. Adala kengkawan cakap, eh, lawanya beli kat mana? B was there and she went to A and belek baju kawan tu and cakap, lawa? Ni tailoringnya teruk ni! Dgn i jarang la kena put down macam ni because i think dia tau A dia boleh makan but kalau dgn i, she needs to cermin diri sendiri dulu (woi statement berlagak!). Ada sekali tu a few of us were talking about barangan lip lap. I pun peragakanlah cincin permata biru i tu..ye la pun..apa lagi barangan lip lap yg boleh i banggakan pun? I ni bukannya bini Habibi..i cakap yg i was so inspired by princessdi punya cincin tunang...dari kecik i berangan dah dekat 4 series baru tercapai cita2 (cita2 nak jadi tukang tolak trolley atas awan biru bila nak tercapai ye esah??)..dia cakap, a ah..dia pun inspired by that ring, and dia ada satu set! Siap dgn pendant, bracelet and earrings..! Waaa...tak nah pun nampak dia pakai..i mean for the person she is, ada kemungkinan ke dia tak pakai utk menayangkan kat org?? Balik2 i tengok cincin batu semi precious tu jugak yg ko pakai..(ish! Tak baik kata org tau!)

Ni jugak set2 yg kalau boleh kentut pun nak diupdatekan status kat FB. Masa bulan pose, tak renti2 update apa menu utk juadah berbuka hari ini...and one womders, lerr,,,padanla anak laki semua badan semangat! She also claims that dia tengah on some miracle treatment regime utk kuruskan badan..the very same one our first lady is on...waa! If so, mesti ramai mak2 datin yg akan selim melim dan buat rojitacikwan terancam kan??

I can go on and on until the cows come home..but like i always say to A, kita gelakkan aje le dia..

Musim mengawan dan boria

Tu dia, dua entry sekaligus. I ni banyak nak mengomel tapi takdak twitter hence...

Esah ni kan, kejap bantah i beli henbeg, kejap sokong..ish so typical woman, can't make up her mind. Me? memang typical woman, semua nak, napsu membuak2...poket je tak sampai.

Tadi i bagitau kat jiran i yg fatboy dijumpai penuh dgn kutu a few nights ago. Geli uols...laju pulak lompat tu..rupanya mcm kutu beras. But of course i dah baca before yg kutu kucing tak jangkit kat org. Malam tu jugak i buat pembasmian kutu kat ketiga2 ekor. As of yesterday, fatboy bebas dari kutu. Well, i was just making a remark about fatboy to this said person. Dia cakap, ye ke kak...yg gigit kitaorg haritu kutu dia ler tu. I said huh? Kutu kucing tak gigit orglah. Iyee...tengok kaki dia and kaki anak2 dia. Benda tu naik masa dia sidai kain. I said awat my family and i tak kena pun?? kutu tu pandai pilih yg sedara dia tak gigit ke? (btw, ni cakap dlm hati). The woman said, sampai dia tanya kat boss tempat kerja dia. Boss tu cakap agas kut. I said, what is agas? setau i, agas ni yg suka terbang2 masuk hidung tu. I panggil korok2. Last2 baru dia cakap, agas ler tu. Sib baik, i was about to thump her. Berani cakap anak aku bawak penyakit ye. Then i bagitau maid i yg si gemuk dituduh sebagai pembawa wabak..maid i cakap mengarut! Diaorg tu pi ternak serangga putih2 yg boleh terbang kat pokok palm rumah diaorg, lagi mau keriau.

Then, satu lagi hal. Ni i nak ingatkan kepada bakal2 pengantin dan bakal2 mak pengantin di luar sana..i know you want your day to be so special ngalahkan Willeng Katemiddletun lagi..especially pada mak pengantin, apa yg ko dulu tak dapat, ko nak reliving your dreams la basically. Tapi jangan la lagi sebulan nak kahwin, you come and tell me yg uols dah belikan kain sepapan utk org2 tertentu..the thing is, baju lip lap i pun dah bertempah. Then, do you seriously think i nak pakai jadi boria sg pinang??? It doesn't matter that according to you kain tu beratus harganya..at this moment in time, kain sutera dari langit sekali pun would not make me change my mind. Kalau uols rasa i yg dah tak sama konsep dgn org lain and you nak lucutkan jawatan i, i'm all happy to be just one of the guests..lagi tenang aku nak makan. Kalau suh ikut warna tema i boleh tahan lagi..ni sama cam kes dulu yg lagi sebulan nak majlis, this person expect me to turn up in baju of some colour. And expect my dad to bersamping bagai. Hish! Sebagai tuan rumah, you should be thankful that sanak sedara nak menolong and especially yg dah tua2 tu, nak datang to the wedding. Ni ada dress code pulak and dah tak bersamping 'dilucutkan' dari duduk kat main table. Sikit tak heran le. Silap le kalau nak expect me to conform dah last minute macam ni, kan? I like nothing better than to pakai seluar katuk and veg out depan tv on weekends rather than being anywhere else...
But of course kalau you Willeng....

Cincin sakti

I tak jadi beli henbeg bulan ni uols....i dah terbeli lip lap. Semalam lepas i skodeng2 data research i, i pun rasa bosan so i thought nak pi cuci kereta. So off i went to the shopping complex. Then to kill the time, i pun masuk ke kedai meh. Hajat hati nak cuba2 je like i always do (ni betul2 tipu..memang dah niat nak rembat barang because ni semua Esah punya pasal. Kalau i dapat la dah beg anak katak tempoh hari nescaya i dah takdak duit nak berbelanja). Uishhh..mak oi...all this diamond fest la, 70% off la (macam tak caya je kan, tapi takpe, tipah ni rela tertipu), promosen sana promosen sini. And i get to try a lot of stuff on..sampai ke siku uols! Pas tu buat gaya2 depan cermin...Esah kata i ni sebab dah approaching 40 sebab tu suka benda lip lap...eleh...dia tu tetiba je pakai pearl earrings harituh..tetiba je nampak ayu..apo kono kau? Yg i suka sangat uncle chena ni suh i try itu ini..i kata no..it's way over my budget...dia kata takpa, try saja dulu...nyaris i sprint ke bangunan ASB uols, sib baik after office hours. One saving grace is that jari i besar jari menggali. Size 17 uols..so not many rings can fit me..kalau SA pandai sikit dia akan kata takpe boleh resize. Tapi adik2 kat kedai malaya ni cam insulted pulak jari tembam ni nak try. That's why uncle chenna tu best..takpe puan, kita boleh resize.

I saw one that i liked. So much...i hyperventilated...i called laki i kat opis. Damn dua2 kali dia tak angkat. I called mak i, tapi takde org kat rumah also. But dlm otak terngiang sore mak i, belilah..nanti mak boleh pinjam gi ngaji.

I told the uncle chena, i want to shop around first...dia cakap kalau i come back trow, dia akan bagi lagi bagus punya price..waaa! Then i masuk habibi..ada daimond fest rhopenya..i tried on a few rings..ada pulak depa size menggali. Pas tu ada satu bangle sapphire..iman i masa tu dah tah ke mana..i need a ring and kalau dapat bangle tu utk dipadankan dgn chenchen sapphire i yg i beli last year bagus jugak..dah terbayang banyak baju biru i kena tempah utk memadankan dgn chenchen and bangle tu..(ish ish..is there no end to this???). Adik habibi tu kata, akak ambik la dua2 ni, elok sangat padan dgn chenchen (sapphire) yg akak pakai tu...i called MG sekali lagi..bukan le nak mintak dia sponsor (nak mintak sponsor dari world bank lagi senang kut) tapi i cuma nak dengar dia cakap, beli je lah, jgn kacau i tengah meeting ni, or, the least, gila. Tak angkat jugak. Last2 i cakap, ok, saya ambik chenchen ni..bangle nanti dulu ye...it was damn hard to say those words..

There you go Esah..you know how hard it was for me to melawan napsu..it's got to be fullfilled one way or another..kahkahkah...so, for the time being, budget AH tarak yeah...anak katak mungkin ada..itupun kalau i tak termasuk ke kedai lip lap in the next 2 months.

Aku, Esah dan henbegku

Internet connection is so like $%#@! tonight. Nak melayari internet shopping pun susah...oops! Seperti yg diwar warkan oleh Esah, i la makcik yg tengah in manic depressive state dan hanya boleh diselamatkan oleh handbag baru lagi berjenama... Thing is, i am a student...pakai handbag mahal2 pun takde gunanya kalau buat dok isi gam, calculator, cop, segala jenis wayar, external harddrive and thumbdrive mak nenek semua. So, ada handbag berjenama cap ayam milik 1 dah 2, 3 i bagi kat kakak i..so i rasa ringan selepas mensucikan diri i gaya gitu. Then, i kena menghadiri org kahwin 3 hari 3 malam..literally. Baju lip lap pun dah ditempah...takkan nak pakai handbag Bottega i yg harian je kan?? (bottega jakarta uols..). Takkan nak pakai handbag daybag kut kan Sally?? Takkan nak bawak clutch je kan?? mana nak letak segala neka telur org kahwin and lauk pauk berkat kan? So...i really need a bag...two kalau tamak benor. So i perkhabarkanlah berita desperate tu pada esah...darling, boleh tak kau sekodengkan rhege bag anak katak kat londong sinun..kat sini rhegenya obscene sangat. Can feed the whole of somalia for a month. Lagipun, kalau dah rhege macam tu baik i beli meh je (org peghak kata emas)...yes, i'm one for jewelleries rather than handbags..dan mintak maap bukan emas set2 kuning kegemaran kaplam ye tapi gemstones ye tuan puan. I'm also not one to save up for anything...be it handbag, jewelleries or apa2 je lah (lain le beli rumah ke kan)..kalau nak beli, kalau kena save up tu maknanya i can't afford it in the first place. Kalau tetiba dapat duit cam duit kutu ke, income tax rebate ke, Dato K nak bagi ke, that's when i membeli belah cam tak hengat donia. Not often la pun.. Nak dijadikan cerita gak, brand anak katak tu takdak online shopping...lagi resah gelisahlah i. So pi la esah menerjah ceruk kota londong tu mencari bag idaman i..rhegenya slightly better than feeding the somalians for entire month, half amonth je kut. Still obscene...tetiba i muhasabah diri..kenapa tak kana'ah jugak dgn apa yg i telah ada? Orang guna duit sebanyak tu to feed their family and i nak buat apa? Beli handbag..bukan utk kegunaan harian pun (nak mati guna hari2? Buatnya tumpah kari!). I pun cakap tak yahlah.... Then SallyMally came galloping into the scene...punya la panjang History of Handbag dia bagitau kat we all. Napa nama dia D, napa nama dia G semua..(si esah ingat G-spot aje)...i tell you, this woman has got a phd in handbags..theory and practical semua pass. Pasal dia banyak kerja lain seperti menunggang kudalah dia takde masa nak bukak blog cite pasal handbag. Kalau tak sure you boleh main dgn banyak dot dot dot utk we all scroll down as well as Wordless Wednesday you tayang gambar koleksi you kan? Hehe.. Dari 'tak yahlah' tadi i terus, Esah, buy, buy, buy!! I suh dia post kat i jam jam tu jugak...muncung i dah panjang 2 depa ke depan and boleh sangkut baju dah when she tried to reason it with me tunggulah dia seniri bawak balik handbag tu, boleh claim vat, murah le sikit..OK la! Still, cemana i nak buat dgn org kahwin 3 hari 3 malam ni??? Psttt Sally, bak mai pinjam henbeg 3 bijik...

Kids and cats

Dah lama i tak update. Actually i blog all the time, unless uols telepathiclah kan...nak kata busy, taklah sangat, nothing new. Probably because i'm always not in the right mood..but i told myself just now, blogging does make me happy, so here i am (lagipun kalau i lama tak hapdate, takut Esak pun mogok and reading her entries does put a smile on my face). I'm feeling a bit under the weather. Frankly speaking, i haven't been exercising. Selepas 'bapak' i memberi perkhabaran yg no way that i'd be donning my 2 piece this summer (as if!), i terus hilang semangat and so be it. I forgot that the reason why i started brisk walking in the first place was to lose some weight, get myself healthy in order to control my BP (and my state of mind). Begitu senang bapak i mempengaruhi hidup i kan? And why do i allow it to happen? So, i'm going to claim back my life..chewah! Padahal banyak weddings this coming May and i'm not making any new outfits (baju kurung is a waste for a student like me) so i would have to squeeze into an existing one. But of course i do not like to squeeze in literally..conscious dgn lapisan2 lemak yg masih nampak jelas walaupun selepas dibeedung dgn perisai. I have not talked about the kids in a long time. Ye lah, this is hardly a blog ummi mithali. Baby X is going to be three soon. Masa kecik dia underweight, Monty lagi berat. Now ni really have to watch what we allow her to eat. Btw, she had her first hair cut a few weeks back..first one sejak dari lahir. I do feel guilty about her...hidup tunggang langgang in her first year because maid bertukar ganti. Hence rambut tak pernah kena cukur...(sib baik yg ini sempat disunatkan masa baby). Little D will be five tomorrow. We celebrated her birthday at her kindy last week. Senang cerita. This one looks like me and adala sikit2 perangai i but i think her artistic talent is from her dad. And senang tangkap diajar pun mungkin dari paknya (certainly not from me because i can only read at eight and baca quran pun tak khatam). But she has one quirk which is certainly from me...she hates buttons...so did i when i was her age. Now i can tahan buttons, but i hate zips kat belakang baju. It's like lipan menjalar kat belakang badan. And why the hell my tailor suka pasang zip kat baju i pun donno la..the last time i cakap i taknak zip, dia buat baju i sebesar khemah even i have told her that with baju yg ada zip pun i masuk takyah bukak zip. So why the heck would you want to put one and probably charge me extra sepuluh inggit? Back to Little D, she has never worn jeans or normal pants becauss they come with buttons at the front. She can tolerate kat belakang, itupun lepas pujuk. Thank god, her kindy uniform has zip kat belakang...but i pulak geli...eiii..Next year i will have two kids with baju ada zip..geli! Thank god for the maid..agaknya if i don't have one, my kids have to go to Smartre@der because the kids pakai tshirt je ..haha.. I finally managed to bathe Princess Boyot after many months, pasal musim hujan. Itupun lepas hair dryer and all, mukanya masih rhope org nak demam for the rest of the day. Because she was first to be bathed, i couldn't get Monty into the house (dia dok luar siang hari but masuk 3,4 kali sehari utk makan dan beybey) so he escaped. Dah dia dok keriau2, kucing satu kampung tau dia kena mandikan. Monty weighs 6 kilos but he cowers whenever this yellow cat is in the vicinity. Yellow cat is a stray and looks to be quarter Monty's weight. I asked the maid to leave out some kibbles for him, kesian..hopefully also bila perut dah kenyang takle dia garang macam singa lapar and leave poor fatboy alone...idaknya... Ugi tak payah mandi because bulu nampak bersih je due to her colouring..lagipun she's a nervous cat..tak biasa sangat mandi, so mesti mau cakar2 punya. Even though she looks like hantu dlm JPB, she's the one with sweetest disposition, none of the diva antics cam mak dia si Boyot and the one most generous with headbuts..headbuts are likened to kisses in cats. OK la, celoteh kurang menarik hari ini.