Lelaki (melayu) sejati

I have written here before about this person i know whose being bullied by the hubby and kids left, right and center. Buli camna? Well, the hubby expects that she takes care of everything at home including the general well being of her grown up kids - i mean her kids are like in the late twenties and ada yg dah kawin but chose to stay at his parents'. Poor mum still has to take care of  anak menantu makan ke tidak, baju bergosok ke tidak, sepentot dicuci ke tidak..her calling in life tu lah: bagus sikit daripada maid je because ada masa2nya lakinya belikan dia barang kemas. Oh yes, jangan sesekali mak bising hokay because si laki akan keriau2 and tanya kenapa nak berkira dgn anak?! OMG! 

Dulu i pernah cakap kat MG. Apsal orang muda sekarang ni masih nak dok rumah walaupun atas bawah dah berjambang - tu dia i mencarut. Tak rasa eager ke nak belajar dok sendiri..have your own freedom, kul berapa nak bangun pagi, kul berapa nak balik rumah etc. I said, when my kids are all grown up ada kerja gaji semua, mintak maaflah anak2ku, sila sewa rumah sendiri. Tak mampu rumah, sewa bilik. Please don't use gaji kecik as alasan utk masih dok celah ketiak mak bapak. But MG said smugly, ni biasalah...kalau mak bapak dok KL and kita kerja KL. Of course ni kena batang hidung dia kan because he only moved out of his parents' home after getting married to me. Correction: we only moved out after 6 months or so..itupun because dah kena pujuk dgn i. Tak best la oi dok rumah PIL even though mine were among the nice ones. It was damn hard to be a Stepford wife or DIL 24/7. lagipun tak dapat berlenggeng kat rumah, hokay?  Anyway, i said to MG, in that case, our kids can stay at home until they get married but sila bayar sewa dan bills yeah? I tak nak bela parasites...And i mean this seriously. I've provided for them makan minum pakai and education so takkan dah besar panjang pun taknak berdikari lagi? I left home at 16 and after that i only went home for summer holidays or the occasional odd holidays. Paling lama pun mungkin 3 bulan. Walaupun masih student lagi, i used my scholarship money to 'pay' my dad my lodgings. At least kalau nak bergayut lelama kat tepon, takde sapa nak cakap apa kan? (masa tu takdak henfon). Bukan nak kata i ni anak mithali and my dad didn't ask for it...i was the last one to leave home. Apa yg mak pak i tak puas hati dgn anak2 lain, telinga i ni lah yg mendengar..antaranya kekanda2ku yg bila balik rumah suka benorrrr bergayut kat tepon dgn mata air memasing and leave tepon bill beratus2 when they go back to college..macam gaya anakku Sazali.

So berbalik kepada akak tadi, masalahnya ialah lakinya. Terlampau sangat nak jadi hero di mata anak2 sampaikan bini tu tak dibuat tak ubah macam maid - maid pun ada bagusnya because bila badan dah penat2 takde la pulak expect to warm the master's bed, kan? What is it with Malay men? If you are not one of them, mintak maaflah and sila perkenalkan diri and tell us why you are so special? For e.g. kalau kat kenduri2 kahwin, selalu ke uols nampak yg jantan akan pegang anak and bagi wife makan dulu? Oh tidakkkk...! Selalunya wife akan beralah because kalau jantan dah lapar, seduit pun tak guna bak kata mak i, hence..My mum once made a remark to me masa kenduri kahwin abang i. Nampak tak Ustaz dia tadi? Elok pegangkan anak dulu while wifenya makan. Islamic and Melayu-mic lain ye uols. My friend who is married to a Muslim convert - sibuk mengajar anak2 lakinya masak and kemas rumah. The husband said, woman in Islam should be treated like a Queen. Campur pulak dgn fahaman cina dia, memang the boys are groomed to be independent so that they are able to lead their own families in the future. Whereas as for the girls, he is less hard on them and try to give whatever they ask for (within reason la kut) because he said, this way, the girls are less likely to fall for unworthy guys yg will buy their affections. Well said. Cuba tengok kita Melayu? Bila ko nak berbini? Adaaaa orang nak jaga makan minum nanti. Arghh sudahlah! Zaman laki masuk hutan berburu and pompuan dok rumah jaga anak laki sudah lama berlalu. Zaman sekarang ni esp. yg dok kota metropolitan yg hebat ni, laki bini kena pi keluar 'berburu'...kalau tak tak cukuplah 'binatang buruan' nak feed the family ye tak? Ye lah...bukan setakat nak makan je sekarang ni. Astro pun nak, kereta pun nak, rumah pun nak yg besar and selesa, anak2 pun nak disekolahkan, nak PS la, Ipad la..

Tapi ada jugak isteri kat luar sana yg sangat suka bila husbandnya kawin je dgn dia terus 'lumpuh' kaki tangan. Jam2 tu jugak tak reti buat air, tak reti potong bawang, masak pun tak boleh..padahal lakinya bertahun2 dok kat obersea sinun. Takkan hari2 beli & makan kebab kut? But then you tell me badan you penat pasal hari2 balik kerja kena masak and kemas dapur sensorang. Weekend je tangan sakit pasal basuh baju berbaldi2..erkkk..tak pakai mesin ke? Oh tidak..mesin utk baju rumah je. Pas tu kena iron baju utk laki and anak2 jantan yg dah berbulu atas bawah. Pahala sungguh keringat you tu...but then you tak boleh complain tau! Pakai maid tak nak? Oh..laki i tak suka orang asing dalam rumah. Waahh.. raja betul laki you tu, ye?

I takde anak lelaki. Nampak gaya cam takkan ada pasal masa pun dah suntuk sangat. If i had one, dah pasti i akan didik anak i utk jadi lelaki yg sejati berciri2 islamic (ni mesti laki i bantai gelak dgn statement ni. Cam la bini dia ni islamic sgt)...bukan lelaki melayu sejati ye. MG is not perfect but he's perfect for me. I takde rasa tertekan nak kena jadi bibik, isteri, mak pada dia. Dia pun agaknya dah tak koser nak 'menekan2' i..tapi tak taulah kut2 ada pompuan gedik kat luar sana yg akan buat dia rasa macam raja and satu hari nanti dia akan babai i. Ye lah kan, pompuan sekarang ni daring2...bukan saja anak dara, mak jan..kenkadang yg dah berswomi pun gemar sangat nak berbff kan dgn laki orang kan...bak kata loyar i Si Desert Rose (don't play2, i have a loyar on standby): Hoi! Ni apahal nak berbff dgn laki aku? Bak mai sini no henfon laki hang, aku nak berbff dgn laki hang pulak. Ni dia kata, i quote je..sapa setuju angkat tangan.

Before this cerita melalut any further, balik kepada akak di atas tu. Dia cakap kat i yg pinggang dia dah sakit2 and dia selalu dapat tension headaches. I nak je kata, tinggallah laki dan anak2 tenggang mu but bila nak bagi advice ni mesti selalu ingat blood is always thicker than water. Come happy days kang, kita pulak yg jadi seteru. So i told her, let's sort out your back and your headaches. Jom i bawak pi jumpa my chiropractor (yg oh so cute tu) and apa kata kita pi counselling rumahtangga. Dia cakap, eh, napa pulak dia yg nak kena dicounsel? Bukan dia yg menimbulkan masalah. Dia cakap makhluk2 kat rumah dia yg patut dicounsel. Haiya..i said, agak susah la nak seret sensorang tu pi jumpa counsellor kan. Yg rasa tersiksa ialah akak tu tadi. Anak & laki dia, ada depa kisah? Tetiap malam PestaPonggal. Takkan depa nak ngaku depa yg bermasalah. She should see someone so that the person can help her to cope with her situation. Mati2 dia taknak...rhope2nya dia takut dia akan meroyan kat opis counsellor tu and as a result, she'd be put in a straightjacket and committed to an asylum. Ayo kadawale!