Kehilangan

Kehilangan orang yg kita sayang...walaupun bukanlah cinta sejati atau masih sayang atau sayang separuh mati suatu ketika dulu, bila orang tu pergi, hati masih terdetik dan teringat2 kat orang tu.

Kehilangan supermaid i? Perit....2 minggu macam orang putus cinta. Nangis, marah, carut, seru...semua dah. In the end terasa eh!..Mongoknya aku. Still, i wish her well. Nantilah...esok2 i cerita the cinetron she got up to bila dah angau, decided to remarry her ex and not come back. Ye laa...kita pun paham sangat kes2 angau kat ex ni...ada orang tu ex perangai serhope entah apa2 itu jugak yg didambakan. Atau bila terkena angin angau...sanggup tu buang mak, buang saudara, buang kawan....Still..this post is not about orang angau.

My friend (MSU=Mat Surau United) who decided to leave for greener pastures. Bukan setakat tukar company je...sampai tukar 'kerakyatan' terus. Kenal dia sejak dari he and i bujang lagi. We fought, we made up...kecik hati...kutuk belakang....i salu pinjam settee kat office dia utk tido during lunchtime before got my own sofa. We made it through 17 years of friendship surprisingly tanpa digossipkan oleh sesapa. In his farewell speech, he said he didnt know what we two had but there's something there. 

(Cerita dulu-dulu: First time i jumpa dia, masing2 bujang. Then he got engaged and married. I told him that at that time bukan tak boleh nak mengorat dia but i was in my 20s, peluang masih terbuka and it was not my style to ngorat boipren, tunang or laki orang. But if i were still single now, i'd prolly tak kisah bec i need a man to fix things around the house since i'm damn hopeless at d.i.y! Hahaa!. Dia pulak kata yg i was always blur...half the time yg masa i single tu was spent longing after my on-off siamang of a boipren). 

Now that he's gone, bridges burnt, it's the end of an era...dia pergi and tak mungkin kembali lagi (bekerja di bawah satu bumbung).

My 3rd kehilangan...i've talked about him here:

http://makbulu.blogspot.com/2009/09/telenovela-babak-2.html?m=1

http://makbulu.blogspot.com/2009/09/telenovela-babak-3.html?m=1

http://makbulu.blogspot.com/2009/09/telenovela-episod-4.html?m=1

Mat Hitam=MH. In fact MSU from above baru bercakap pasal MH a few weeks ago. Our classmate masa Masters. MSU mentioned how i turned 180deg from Siamang yg set2 Zul Ipin to MH yg....err...certainly not Denzel or tidak juga kuntakinte. My weakness is intelligent man...(why do u think i spinned my web around MG? Or why i fell for Orang Minyak yg dah la hitam pastu jongos pulak! - harus kutuk lebih sikit bec he 'dumped' me)

I masih teringat2 cara MH cakap...his wits...wisdom...cemaslah mak i jugak di suatu ketika dahulu - takut dapat cucu bulat, gelap serta rambut kinting 7 keturunan tak hilang. Tidaklah kami pernah bercinta agung...like MSU, there was something there. Pernahkah i terfikir 'what if'? Jawapannya tak. He's a christian...tiap2 sunday pi church...tiap2 sabtu pi mabuk. Cita2 dia masa tu was balik Kenya jaga lembu beribu ekor. Orang Msia balik kg bawak kereta Merc...dia bawak tractor. Kalau dia ada cakap dia nak stay on kat UK pun i might have considered...sikit la. Elok i nak off tepon masa dah dlm perut MAS nak balik Msia for good, message dia masuk cakap 'lap u'. Takdenya berbaur romantic ye kengkawan...so abaikan.

Sebulan lebih kut pastu, MSU yg masih berhubungan dgn dia, told me that he'd gone home for good...and got married! Tak ke acik terkejut???! Kemain lagi dia..lap u, lap i, lap her lah..Berjurai jugaklah airmata ni...sampai my bff cakap kat i yg sebenarnya i ni menangis bec dia kawin dulu sebelum i...hahaha! Terus i stop bec...memang betul pun!

Anyway...dia penyeri hidup i masa tu (ada jugak orang nak kisah kat aku...camtulah i fikir). Early this week, MSU wasap kat i bagitau MH dah takde...he died nearly 3 years ago. All this while we reminisced about him (even my mum mentioned about him once in a blue moon), he's actually gone...! Whatever he was to me...nak kata kawan bukan kawan, nak kata boipren bukan boipren..although we didn't keep in touch...there was always this vision of mat black tembam naik tractor jaga lembu, somewhere in Kenya...kut2 satu hari esok i nak bawak anak2 i pi safari ke sana, i would surely look him up...expect dia tunggu we all kat airport....all this while and i didn't know...

Bye bye MH. Thank you for making me laugh once upon a time.

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