It was a glorious wedding albeit a simple one. Z (my colleague) looked good in spite of the heavy make up especially for someone who'd normally just put on a lipstick. A few of us were at her sister's (where the wedding was) from 8.30 Saturday morning to accompany Z to the mosque for akad nikah. For someone like me who normally would not even have a shower before zohor during weekends, actually got up to shower and dress up nicely, as nice as one could afford to look for someone in my condition.
I enjoyed the nasi minyak, disappointed that it was time to leave before i could go for another round (muka memang dah tak malu because as one of Z's wedding planners, we were all honorary 'tuan rumah'). I got to eat a piece of the 3-tier cake and it was very satisfying because at most weddings the cake acts as 'kepala hidang' only, to be exhibited but the tuan rumah would wait for all the guests to leave before tucking into it deme (as Perakians would say 'diaorg')anak beranak je. As i said just now, i left too soon (3pm, too soon ka?), didn't get to tapau the lauk pauk or the cake for those loved ones (uhuk, tersedak sikit) at home.
I'm glad Z has finally found her man and married him despite her siblings' objections because the guy's not 'sekufu'. At least now she doesn't have to go home to an empty house and stare at the 4 walls..(but i did tell Z that it was better that than being lonely in a marriage like some marriages. Where husband and wife not actually communicating but cakap bila perlu, if not for the children, there's nothing in common to bind them together. Anyway, one gets into a marriage with all the best intentions but as my mum would say, if you don't like it, get out. Afterall, marriage is a gamble.)
Yesterday, the maid took some time off to berlibur. From noon, i had one of my bad 'angin' headaches and no amount of minyak balm could get rid of it. We went out to the mall to keep little D occupied and all for one hour after we got back, i had to mind little D who was a bag of energy...when she was done irritating the cats she'd jumped on me..even though i had a headache, i dared not sleep even a wink for fear of having my tummy trampled on. Then the maid came back and took over, i was soo glad i could have wept. The headache lasted all night, thank god i was OK this morning. This 'angin' headaches are getting more and more frequent and i have become quite careful at what i take in..no more 'melayu' veges for me such as kangkung, labu etc. I surfed the net this morning looking for remedies, was wondering if some yoga or exercises can help me avoid them when i came across this subheading 'how to tell your husband that you're expecting'...oh boy, i came across this a bit too late.
I tell myself that it must be hormones for my feeling this way. One or two nights ago, i wept before going to sleep for sheer frustration about something (I was thinking of my mum who would voluntarily give me a massage when i have the 'angin'). I thrived at the workplace but at home i feel sad / depressed. I look forward to put my feet up during weekends but i also feel quite tortured having to endure the two days of not being at work / with my friends. I comb my hair only in the morning because they are starting to fall out in handfuls again. I'm exhausted attending to little D's demand for 'nenen'. I would really appreciate a look of empathy thrown into my way once in a while other than the usual 'grunts' or 'hmm' from certain department. Look at me feeling sorry for myself, next Esah JuOn would scream at me telling me to get a life or better a chastity belt next time. What have i got to feel sorry for??? I have a roof over my head, plenty to eat (spaghetti Olio and beef pie at Dome this lunchtime), the man who resulted in my condition is my husband, a healthy, cheeky little girl, cats that adore me and last but not least a couple of credit cards and car keys should i need to take off.
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