Mid-life crisis

I have got a tshirt on today that says ‘NO SEX PLEASE’. It isn’t mine originally, it’s MG’s. I think he thought by putting this tshirt on would protect him from sex demons kut..! I’m sure you all must notice the frequency of my blog entries nowadays…as I mentioned before, other than watching reruns of Friends and Desperate Hoswipe, there’s not much else I do at home..that and being a vending machine for Baby X. Oh yes, I also annoy my colleagues from the office, sekejap2 call diaorg, bukan nak tau pasal kerja sangat, more on the gossips la!

Last night I woke up in a sweat. Bukan sebab terjaga dari mimpi yg menakutkan, tapi dari realiti yg sangat menakutkan. In 41/2 years time, I’m going to turn 40! I belum puas lagi jadi 25, camana tiba2 dah nak jadi 40? Belum puas lagi dipanggil kak or adik and tiba2 sekarang bebudak panggil aunty…once I was called ‘makcik’ by this kid yg nak mintak derma (i know it's a direct translation but...)..daripada hati yg nak bergenerous, terus tak jadi derma langsung uols! When it’s time to send Baby X into std 1, I’m sure I’d be the oldest living mother on that day! But cam kawan I cakap, takpe, asalkan kita bergaya….majority of my colleagues set2 cam i…yg lambat kawin or lambat dapat anak, so bila anak masuk sekolah, we’d be into our 40’s. It’s no surprise that the office telah dilanda angin puting beliung menyemarakkan mid-life crisis in the 30somethings generation. Ada yg pergi ke suria KLCC i dengar and borong pelbagai utk menukar ketrampilan, ada yg tak habih2 swimming je utk mengembalikan muscles yg mungkin tak pernah ada and ada sampai yg invest in cling film kat beauty spa utk dibalut segala. Yesterday I donned on lipstick and eye liner and I guess the angin putting beliung dah sampai ke NO.31, tapi idakle org itu nak notice, kan???

I regret that when I was in my teens and twentys, I was busy feeling insecure about myself. When I was a teenager, of course I had oh-that-so-common pimple problem. The only thing good about pimples was that the advert they showed on tv penuh dgn jantan2 gorgeous..i remember this one advert where the guy was topless and he had a pair of red shorts on..kut..or have I got my wires crossed ke and tah íklan’apa and dimana I nengok tu. And then when I was in my twenty’s pulak, I was so worried about my weight although I was 10-15kilos lighter then. I have big bone structure so, I should have realised that I could never be waif-like like Kate Moss walaupun sebanyak mana I tahan makan pun. And then there was this problem about my hair…those days takde technique se-advance rebonding macam sekarang ni. If one nak straighten the hair, silap haribulan, your hair might look so keras macam rambut palsu geisha. Org kata rambut I jenis wavy, I panggil curly, bila balik Msia with the humidity and all, dia jadi frizzy.

When I did my practical right after graduation, and bila dah bergaji, mula la nak berexperiment…..i started to colour my hair…kalau masa student tu the scholarship setakat mampu bayar haircut kat student union je, 3pound 50…haircut je literally…the hairdresser wet your hair to cut and at the end of it you’d still be left dripping wet because dia tak blowdry pun rambut you. Anway, ada once tu I masuk la to this hair salon yg sebelum ni masa student setakat lalu je la and I say, I’d like to have some highlights please. Warna brown2 to go with my Asian skin, not too bright please. And I’m the type yg tak fussy, I like to just grab a mag, sit back and tunggu je the finished product. Hambik kau…when she was finished I look like a Japanese teen pop star!! The bleach was left on for a bit too long and I my hair turned bright orange!!!! I didn’t know what to say, I didn’t make any fuss at all, I ingat silap I ke tak bagi instructions betul2??? So what did I do??? Masa tu, to put on the tudung was the last resort le kan..although I should have taken note that probably god was hinting at me in a big WAY! I ended up at the Student Union hairdresser with tail between my legs and mintak my regular hairdresser tu kalerkan balik rambut I jadi hitam…itula, when I started earning I thought I was too posh for basement hairdresser.

Talking about eventful incidence that took place masa2 I tengah mencantikkan diri (perasan betul!), 2 years ago I went for a facial. I just finished my morning session kat OT at workplace B and I had 3 hours to kill before afternoon session starts. So, I pi la buat facial at this place where it was in the middle of renovation nak upgrade kan salon tu. This kakak did my face and in between dgn menjawab tefon and cakap ngan workmen…and certain steps tu dia punya assistant lak tolong buatkan. I remember it was the last week of puasa, takde clients lain pun. Then, the kakak covered my eyes with gauze and pakaikan mask yg after a while keras cam simen. It was 1.30pm then. I thought paling lama pun by 2pm she’d remove the mask and by 2.30pm latest I should be back to attend to my clients. Then 2pm came and gone, 2.30pm, then 3pm. Mulut tak boleh nak bukak besar nak jerit panggil org because of the mask. Kat luar bunyi workmen tgh bertukang and I was berkemban je, takkan nak jalan keluar….i called up my junior and gave him all sorts of excuses about being at the clinic anak sakit, please mind my clients…and si junior ni cakap our immediate boss yg tgh mindkan…nak jatuh jantung I because boss ni terkenal dgn garangnya..yg set2 boleh jerit kat semua org..ces! Rupanya dia buat lawak je, clients ada 2 je petang tu, agaknya yg lain dah balik kampung kut. Then at 3.30pm baru la akak tu terkedek2 datang, both she and her assisstant completely forgot about me! Sib baik la tak ditinggalnya I sampai bukak pose ke…