Trauma

At first i was in denial....nehhh....i don’t think she’d ever leave...She seemed attached to Baby X. She got along very well with Little D and the cats as well. She didn’t talk much and she could cook very well. OK la, kemas rumah tu out sikit and memandangkan she’s much older than us, kengkadang nak suruh buat itu ini pun i segan. I felt comforted with her around since she has more experienced with babies, it’s like having an aunt or an older sister around. I selalu dok berangan how nice it’d be if she’d stay with us forever and ever.

MG and i akan seperti biasa dily daly kat bilik like any other weekend and turun bawah kul 9...i went downstairs and the house was quiet. The curtains were still drawn, the cats were out (big no no), the back door was slightly ajar and she was nowhere to be seen. Check2 bilik tengok bag and baju semua yilek pocik! I seperti heroin filem hindustan sambil memegang baby X meraung, ‘bibik dah takde!!’..sib baik la tak diikuti oleh kilat sabung menyabung. Then, i went into zombi mode (or robot, whichever). Sendiri mandi, then mandikan Little D and Baby X (MG kata he’s a big boy, boleh mandi sendiri). I supposed like some people who have been struck by tragedy (OK la, some of you may snigger, bibik lari big deal! To me it is!), i needed to cling to routine. So, i whipped out the vacuum cleaner, vacuum atas bawah, mop etc. Tragedy has struck but the house needed to be maintained. Then came to the stage yg asyik nak nangis je. This lasted about 3 days...Cakap ngan neighbours, nangis. Datang kerja nangis dulu....the big nangis came when MG timang2 baby X pas tu cakap, sian baby...bibik kata bibik sayang dia tapi bibik tinggalkan dia.

For 5 days right after sembahyang subuh, i’d be whipping out the vacuum and mop. I also did other bits and bobs...you know, a good 1.5hours of hoswipey work before i went off to my day job. Selalunya pergi kerja kul 8 gak tapi masa dipenuhi ngan golek gelantang atas katil and kenkadang subuh pun subuh set gajah. On the 6th day, i demam...kejap sejuk kejap panas. My dad (my parents came over to look after the baby) said i demam sebab stress....uols jangan tak tau! Mengalahkan kena jilted ngan lover lagi. Dalam kepala otak i seribu satu benda i pikir. Sapa nak jaga baby X. Tak sampai hati nak hantar dia ke nursery and dijangkiti segala jenis penyakit. Biar cukup little D sorang je. Childminder yg ditanya seme dah beratur bebudak yg dijaganya....nursery little D sebelah rumah tak jaga baby lak..aiya!!! I was desperate!! I pi menanya cleaner indon kat office sesapa nak jadi maid temp i sementara my agent ganti lepas raya..ada sorang dua kata nak tapi takleh confirm for another week pulak. In the meantime, my house was starting to smell of cats. I encouraged 2 ekor tu to spend as much time outside the house. Less shedding in the house. I said to my mum alangkah bagusnya kalau Melly pun boleh jenjalan on her own without getting lost. My mum said, even kalau anak sendiri pun, tak seme sama. Ada yang cerdik, ada yang lembab, ada yg sense of directionnya teruk...Hish tu macam i je bunyinya...but i don’t have whiskers do i???

Then came the anger stage. Amboi2, mentang2 la aku ada bagi duit kat ko pasal harijadi ko, ko guna duit tu utk lari ye? Banyak cantik! Aku baru terpikir nak belikan ko ring ring card so that ko boleh call anak ko raya ni. Pas tu aku pun nak suggest kita hantar milo kat anak kecik ko umur 8 tahun tu. Mesti dia suka! Bukan ke last week aku belikan ko seluar dalam? Selai 12 inggit tau, mahal dari maam punya sendiri. Ko kata suka durian, aku pun pi beli durian. All i wanted was for you to be happy working for us, tak leh nampak ke? Aku bagi susu ko balas tuba...

Seminggu lebih kepemergian bibik, me with my mata merah like mummera (i sakit mata rupanya. I tak tau until i terperasan, awat baby X nya mata pun merah?? Duh!) began to accept that yes, she’s gone. She’s not coming back. Although she left in such a hurry, i should be thankful that she chose a Saturday when both MG and i were at home. I don’t think dia pi jadi minah karan (not at her age) or pi kerja2 kat restaurant..she’s a little bit timid for that. I think she missed her children so much that she’s gone back to Medan, maybe for good, maybe just for raya. Of course there must be a dalang who must have assisted her in her bid for freedom.

I wish her well. Obviously i would like to know the reason for her leaving but if she should be back i would welcome her with open arms because frankly speaking she was the best among the 3 maids i’ve had so far. Too bad i tak sempat nak mintak dia masakkan soto. Damn!

I spoke to my colleagues yg majoritynya seme anak sorang, paling max pun 3 org and we are heavily dependent on our maids??? Why? Why is it we are so tempang without them? My sister has 4 kids, and she has survived all this while without one. Sure, the kids dok merata2 transit here, day care there etc. while waiting for her to regroup them at 6.30pm and balik rumah. Then she would terkocoh2 cook dinner, do the laundry etc. But something has to go....with my sister, it is the cleanliness of the house....without prior notice if nak dtg bertandang, you’d be met with rumah yg macam tongkang pecah. Baju tak berlipat sebanyak 5 bakul, toys and old newspapers merata2 and habuk atas lantai boleh tulis. Nak katakan she catches up with the housework over the weekend, tak jugak. They’d happily go jalan2..Maybe that’s it...i am not willing to let the tidiness of the house go or spend all weekend cleaning it. For a good 3 years masa MG and i single mingle takde anak, i would spend my Sunday cleaning the house (masa tu Saturday kerja lagi)...i would be tired and grumpy and by noon bila seme kerja dah siap, i’d just be too tired to jenjalan. MG resented that i was no fun to be around and i was displeased with the fact that i had to do all the cleaning up myself. There was no quality time to be had.

Therefore, my colleagues and i have agreed that our motto shall be to (do well in our career) earn substantially so that no matter how much the cost of hiring a maid may rise in the future, we would still be able to afford one. We are pretty sure the other halves would say, tak yah la..mahal sangat, we can manage without one....ho ho ho..those are the famous last words. I’m sure it’s us women that’ll be at the losing end. No, i don’t need diamonds or rubies, i just want a maid.

P/S I got my office cleaner to temp for me. I have been at home all this week..she’s OK with baby X, if only that little thing would take up the bottle easily. Mentang2 i dah dok kat rumah lama, ngada2 tak nak bottle. Hish! Nanti maid temp lari kang..aiyo! I hope not. We’re paying her 600 inggit uols! Kemas rumah, lipat baju and jaga baby je...

Plus points about takde maid:
1. I started to get reacquainted with baby X. Selain mandikan, i also get to massage her like i always did with little D.
2. Tak larat makan plus buat kerja rumah sure helps me to lose weight compared to pegang remote astro je.
3. I have to start cooking again....menambat hati or menyiksa hati suami???
4. I know what is in my own fridge...