XX + XY = NOTOK

Semalam i masuk office kena kerja. Bila hari bekerja tu kenalah pakai not so casual. Actually, i don't do casual (read selebek jeans, sandals etc.) very well, so hari yg kena kerja or tak kerja cam sama saja. Anyway, si MSU buat hal. Memula penuh dengan kata2 pujian. Yg kononnya i ni memang ada assetlah, muka dah cukup lawa (ptuihh berjemaah uols), mekap dah ok ...tapi....awat i dress up lebih tua dari umur?? Huh? I am 40 i told him...so how am i supposed to dress up? He said, look at my tudung? What with my tudung? I don't do short tudungs anymore because err...aurat and yes, i've also just realised how 'very well endowed' i am (yes, i am bongek). And i really thought i looked like 'adik angkat' ProfMuh@ya semalam (albeit slightly colour blockingnya). He said, my tudung is too loud, menenggelamkan my best features (pergh!). Apakata, you pakai camni, katanya sambil tangannnya melukis something on a piece of paper (did i tell you he's kidal? I find it it so cute org kidal ni bila depa menulis / melukis ke. When at one point masa Little D was 3+, she was verging towards using more of her left hand, i was really excited. Ambidextrous gittew. But now, she's just plain right handed like many of (boring) us. But i must be a little bit bongkak and perasan that due to the nature of my job, i'm kind of a bit ambidextrous myself)

He drew some sort of jacket labuh ke lutut...he said, why don't you pakai camni? I took a look at his sketch and terus teringat kat binik PrinceCharles..no not the late younger, ranggi wife but the present one. And you say i have to not dress older than my age? Pastu sibuk nak ajak i pi shopping, to give my wardrobe an overhaul. Jom kita katanya. Ish bongek lah! Yes, he is my bff...but apa jadah pulak nak jadikan dia suami simpanan i kat office? 1. Cukuplah satu suami kat rumah tu. Like EsahbellaJuon kept preaching, boundaries people, boundaries! Between men and women...tak kisahlah sebaik mana, orang tu ada bini and i ada laki. Walaupun the bini is also my friend and we go a long way back sampaikan basuh bontot anak dia pun i pernah, we have to be sensitive to another woman's feelings, kan? Janganlah ikut sesedap rasa kita saja. Ni i nak ingatkan pada adik2 di luar sana because some people tak rasa benda ni salah, tak sedar atau pun sedar tapi saja2 tak kisah. Mana satu? Benda yang tak dirancang selalu terjadi. Cerita klasik. Contoh: Mamat ni mai company we all buat bussiness, selalu jumpa2 dgn minah yg in charge project tu (masa tu single), lama2 terproject masjid  dgn minah tu. Sanggup cerai berai dgn isteri, anak keliling pinggang jadi mangsa. But minah memang dikenali dgn sikap yg i want, i get, i kisah apa. All blame it on 'dah terjatuh cinta', nak buat camna. Yg ko suka sangat berhubungan pasal business after office hours tu apahal? So adik2, no, no, no!....Work-related issues keep it to office hours. Nak gossip punya hal, keep it to office hours also. Try exercising some restraints. Kalau dah pecah perut tak boleh tahan sangat, meh datang rumah je atau cakap je dgn bini dia dulu. Ada berani? Well, i did...once or twice bila perlu sangat nak kena cakap dgn si MSU tu (work-related lah..gossip belum pernah la i se CikWok tu). Call handphone dia, suh pas kat bini dia, cakap basa basi, pastu mintak pass balik ke lakinya. See, A to Z akak kena terangkan protokolnya. Ada satu kes pulak, laki orang dgn bini orang. Kononnya what harm can come to it kan? Masing2 dah berpunya. Laki to the woman jenis tak kisah. Liberal and cool gitulah. Bini bff pulak tak tau how rapat the husband is to the woman. Jumpa hari2 kat office, makan sama2, berasap sama2....pastu yg jantan dah lain macam je. Dah dilanda perasaan. Sampai libang libu asyik dok teringatkan bff nya walaupun dia kat rumah. Yg pompuan pulak, no jealous2 dlm her relationship with her husband, i got bff XY, you oso got bff XX. Macam tak cool lah nak keriau2, kan? In the end hubby left her to be with his BFF. So tell me, what good can come out of this?? Kita jangan poof poof perasaan orang lain (partner bff) bila bukan kita yang kena..but believe me what goes around comes around.

Fuhh..panjang pulak point no.1 tu. Point no.2 on why i wouldn't go out shopping with MSU? Oiii sudah2lah hidup i ni di kelilingi oleh jantan2 metrosexual. Do i have to be the one laden with testosterones as opposed to you guys? They really take the fun out of being a woman from me. Sheesh! EskayII lah, colour blockinglah, baju pepelam lah...tanya je, semua diaorg tau. Apa nak jadi dgn generasi bekas makanan polisterine ni..(apparently the chemicals in polisterine mimic oestrogen/receptor, sebab tu lah makin lama makin ramai jantan yg jalan kepit2. Oh yes, also, guys, don't consume too much of soy products. Sama jugak effectnya)

There you go..