Crossroads

Today is my first day back at work from the chicken pox fiasco. I have been away for nearly 3 months, kejap ada kejap takde. Kalau kerja private agaknya dah suruh tender in resignation dah.

There was nothing romantic about chicken pox like they potrayed on Friends...i.e. when Phoebe and the submarine guy got the pox. For a start, there was no officer and a gentleman for me. The "Jack D@wson" i have with me was busy (better not serenading another Rose!) and i have 2 kids mind you, how romantic a feeling can one get? Habis i garu like crazy, only the ones on my face were spared.

Today, the little boss asked me ke mana hala tuju i? Am i going to maintain status quo, nak pi sambung belajar or....to greener pasture? Frankly speaking, the first is really out of the question. I feel that i don't have the zest anymore in what i do compared to say, 5 years ago. My lack of enthusiasm shows.....i wish i could be doing something else but i don't have any other skills other than what i am trained to do. Venturing into private practice is really not for me because i do not enjoy the rigid schedule doing the same thing day in day out. Another option is to go for phD..but they say it is short form of permanent head damage. Do i really want to go through being a student again? Nanti kang i'd be doing it for all the wrong reasons i.e. the thought of staying where i am is more unimaginable. Decisions, decisions! And half the year is gone already.

Memang kena sembahyang istikharah ni..

Aku budak lolah

If you have been waiting for the outcome of my matchmaking scheme between my colleague's daughter and Siamang, sadly to say, zilch! Siamang sent her 2 smses but she didn't reply at all. Her mum thinks that the daughter is shy2 would probably reply lambat sikit but siamang said to me , podah!

Just as well, i couldn't go on hiding the truth from my colleague. She asked me these questions, how well i know the family (very well infact), can he masuk with other people's family (mm..well..yes..he was very pally with my brother, selalu lepak kat Kafe Batu Keras dulu), how was he at uni (let me see..he rode a bike, part time jadi cleaner, main 5-A side etc. etc.) . Basically the questions got more and more in depth..unless i was his ardent admirer or stalker or girlfriend (bingo!) i shouldn't be able to answer them so precisely!

When talking about his family, i terkenang kat nenek (wan) dia. She was this strong, matriach like N9 woman. She had her resrvations about me...that is understatement of the year, she disliked me. Tu belum pernah jumpa lagi tu. I memang hot ngan dia but of course i tak spell it out loud to siamang because he was closed to her..he called her as often as he called his mum.

One year i came back from summer hols and i brought back this kulat or cendawan whatever you call it. Yg dah dikeringkan and selalunya masak gulai lemak with it. Siamang rang his grandma from my place because rumah dia takde phone and he informed his grandma that i was in the kitchen cooking that blessed kulat. You know what that old woman said? Ko jangan makan, nanti mati kena racun (of course in thick N9 dialect). What the feck! What? Dia ingat i kutip benda tu kat dinding belakang rumah i???

At other times she'd be asking siamang where exactly is my hometown?? Ada jalan tar nak masuk ke rumah i ke?? Like pund## je kan. Helo...! It is probably as urban as Paroi Jaya! Siamang gelak je, menghumour org tua tu. Once she said to siamang, ko tak payah la nak kawin ngan budak Peghak tu, budak tu lolah, nanti susah nak bela. When Siamang got married, dia main punya suka because the menantu cucu was from N9, boleh omong2 channel yg sama. Tapi tuhan nak tunjukkan, siamang ex was found to be chronic hep B carrier! Ha! Ambik kau!

When she passed away Siamang smsed to inform me.
I said, sorry.
He said, is that all you have to say?
I said, yes. She was never nice to me. (Dalam hati cakap, eiii! She was and evil fussy pot)
He said, she never knew you!
I said, My point exactly!

So Wan si Siamang, wherever you maybe, rest in peace (and that's the nicest wish i can have for you).

Smog and curry

The smog is back. On Sunday afternoon, ada bau2 asap je kat hidung ni. And i thought, ni mesti kerja org2 gomen bercucuk tanam ni..i was riled! The only thing that was holding me back from jumping into the car and cruising kat tepi kebun tu (lagak cam stalker) was the spots on my face. Imagine twenty big 'jerawat batu' on the face plus putih2 calamine lotion tu. I looked hideous! (Since the local paper didn't publish my grouse, i was contemplating of writing to Pak Lah..not that he'd bother i'm sure. Little did i know that there was man-made peat fire near Dengkil).

When i was on leave (ceh, mcm sekarang tak on leave) i contemplated to menyahut seruan kerajaan of taking the public transport. Not so much of trying to be a good citizen but trying my best not to add pollution to earth (bunyi cam bagus je!)(rasa cam deja vu pulak, have i told this story before?). So one day i decided to check out the route to work. Off i went, all fresh around 9am, i hopped onto the ERL (RM19 return i think). So far so good. Nyaman je dlm train, org pun lawa2 (a ah, the steward and stewardeses airline yg van tak ferry the employees around). So far so good...Then tiba KL Sentral i had to make my way to the monorail station. Adoi, kena turun tangga yg sebesar 2 bontot i je, (kaki gue dah capek dah by this time), lalu celah2 bazaar, cross the road to get to the monorail station. At this time ketiak dah start bau kari (from the mamak restaurant nearby). Boleh tahan lagi ni...then got the monorail (RM2.50 one way) after 5 stops kut, alighted. Turun mega tangga, 5 mins walk to the big gate (entrance to work place) and another 5 mins walk nak sampai bawah bangunan i. Mak tuan!!! Masa tu dah takde catwalk2 dah. Ketiak dah belengaih kata org! Terus singgah canteen tibai 1 can of coke and 1 cornetto (RM4 altogether). Kata la i get to save about RM10 taking the public transport instead of driving, itupun lepas minus coke and other jajan to soothe and encourage niat murni ni, mungkin dapat save RM5 sehari je kut. But, i was hot! I smelled of curry, and i looked like i have been dragged through the bush, backwards!!! Sorry Pak Lah, i think i shall take the car, menghabiskan duit bayar petrol and tol as well as polluting the environment. I draw the line at smelling like curry.

(How people manage to look 'not hot and bothered'while taking public transport aku pun tak tau).

The curse

I've got the pox. Yes uols, i am so spotted now that if i were at the zoo, it's hard telling me apart from the leopard. On Wed straight after i got back from work, i jumped into the shower and washed my hair. Masa cuci rambut tu terasa eh napa my scalp ni ada benjol2 macam nak keluar aliens je? Bila i terjaga tengah malam tengok dah ada lesions kat lengan i as well as my abdomen. Obviously we know what it is! The first two days i thought, OK, kat muka ada satu dua cam jerawat je, not bad..but starting yesterday muka i cam org kena sengat lebah uol....habisla parut kat muka aku ni!!!! Pasrah aje la kan...yesterday dah start gatal2...i'm so not a disciplined person. When i was pegnant i scratch my tummy like nobody's bussiness sampaikan the marks on my tummy now looks like broken up caramel pudding. Ni tangan rasa gatal je nak menggaru...

Anyway, semasa bininya terlantar sakit, MG had his annual dinner. Apa yg menmunsykilkan was that no spouses are allowed or invited sama (i know ada gak company yg camni so i tak heran sangat tapi their staff seramai 30 org je according to MG. Kalau minus 4,5 org yg laki tak bagi datang apa sangatlah dinnernya kan? Anyway, don't mind me grumbling. Even if spouses were invited pun i was hardly in the position to party). They had to dress up as characters from movies. MG brought back this shiny, fluorescent, orange costume: an aladdin pants and a cute bolero. Just a bolero as a top! What the f@@@! Dalam hati i cakap, mamat ni biar betul! Dah buang tebiat ke? There is no way i am going to allow him in that costume: menayang segala bulu dada, perut, nipples pelbagai oops! Sib baik MG pun sedar diri and opted to put on a t-shirt underneath.

Nak dijadikan cerita, his colleague who was supposed to be Jack Dawson couldn't come and he had to take over because they did a sketch. I said Jack who? Aye? From Dawson's Creek???? Ngok, from Titanic la! So, MG got to say those famous lines 'íf you jump, i'll jump'. Oh no uols, that was the highlight of the decade for him, i keep hearing those lines now. He really fancies himself as Leonardo Di Caprio and it shall be another 2 weeks before the thing will die down. Kasi can la kan..

He was gone for the whole day, didn't come back until god knows what time because i pun dah tertidur. There i was, sick with the pox, manning the two kids, feeling sorry for myself...sib baik mamat tu menang 2nd prize 42 inch LCD tv in the lucky draw!! So, all is forgotten, at the end of the day, i pompuan yg ada ciri2 materialistic sikit..ye la..of course we expect something from our 'sacrifice' kan??? On second thoughts, why didn't he win the 1st prize plasma tv?? Hummph! He should have tried harder!

The loss of innocence

I did promise to comment on this certain person's fantasy about a particular dentist bini orang. Apa kena mengena dengan ku?? Tak tau la kan...



This dentist bini orang (DBO..nasib baik tak DBI, kan DBI oi?) selama ni buat kerja dia yg mulia tu tanpa ada rasa syak wasangka terhadap apa2 perangai atau fantasi boye (walaupun mulut patient memang selalunya terbuka luas cam boye). I think before this she has never been exposed to this kind of revelation. Agaknya pun her career menengok mulut2 boye besar sungguh singkat, ada la kut give and take 2 tahun. From then onwards all the boyes that come to see her semuanya tak lebih dari 2.5 kaki tinggi. (If at that height/age they start to fantasise, my god! What's happening to this world kan?). Anyway, i'm sure DBO's quite flattered that ada gak org nak berfantasi tentang dia walaupun from the day of revelation she shall never again see any big boyes without thinking yg bukan2 seperti berapa incikah her bosom from the person's face? (dah la dia tu well endowed!). Adakah boye itu akan berfantasi sampai terangkat2 kaki dan yg sewaktu dengannya..ooops! The thing is she has never checked mulut laki dia pun in fact she asked her colleague to check his..oooo..! Now dia terpikir sebab tu la laki dia pernah termimpi her friend in blue nightie (ces! and hers do not even 'EXIST'!). So, peringatan kepada laki DBO, selepas ni you gi check gigi ngan bini you je lah, OK?



Apa2 pun i'm sure DBO teramat la flatterednya ada gak org nak berfantasia pasal dia..

Meroyan

Last Monday was my first day back at work (officially) from my maternity leave. Tiba je I tengok bilik I banjir although the dept.’s reception area lagi teruk. First thing I did was to look up at the ceiling, tak pulak nampak damp patch cam dlm Dark Water tu. Jangan tak tau, this building we’re occupying is so old in fact we’re the second owner. Bocor sana bocor sini, tadah air hujan ngan baldi lagi kenkadang. There was once where a colleague obtained a room for his office slyly..bilik yg besar siap ngan split level aircond lagi. He sort of ‘chased’ the previous occupant away dgn segala mala hujah pada boss why the room should be his. Nak dijadikan cerita, one morning datang kerja he discovered that the ceiling roboh meninggalkan lubang terlopong! Padan muka pun kan. Anyway, we got the maintenance men to come and they found out that the puddle datang dari bilik I …. There’s a kepala paip in my room yg telah dibuka. The men looked at me suspiciously, must be thinking that aku lah yg buka paip utk mandi manda kut masa weekend. Apa diaorg ingat I nak simulate mata air ke kat dinding bilik I ?? I didn’t even realize ada kepala paip kat bilik I tu (in my defense, it was hidden behind my coat stand). I was OK, no Monday blues whatsoever…coming to work was muccccchhh better than staying at home with Little D yg masih tak boleh attend her nursery because of the pox. I’m not cut out to be a stay-at-home mum..

Then I discovered that the kolam ikan yg I dok pertahankan sangat tu dah dikeringkan airnya..hopefully for some repair and renovation work. I don’t even dare ask what’s happened to the fish yg saki baki tu..jadi aruah dah kut.

I needed something to do that Monday morning..apa org kata? To get the momentum?? Then I remembered the weekend before about stumbling across open burning kat area rumah I …bunyi cam serious sangat kan? Well, anyway, I am very sensitive to smoke ngalahkan smoke detector unit lagi. Kalau sebatu pun hidung I dah rasa gatal2. Just imagine, that Saturday driving back from somewhere adala kebun pasang siap ni (yg baru2 ni dilaunchkan oleh PM kita), I nampak ada dua tiga longgok api and berasap2 coming from there. Yes, you can launch whatever scheme under the sun but jgn lah pulak merosakkan alam sekitar. Of course it got my knickers in a twist. So I surfed the net nak cari contact no. ministry yg helped to launch that scheme. Call kali ke setengah dozen baru ada org angkat and was passed to this ‘kakak’. When I started to air my grouses, nicely of course, kita pun professional kan, takkan nak marah2 tak tentu pasal. But this akak ni gelak sindir2 pulak and said to me ‘eh, takkan yg itu pun kitaorg nak jaga’. All I asked was how the farm waste was supposed to be disposed. Obviously la I pun mula la fed up ‘hello! You all lancarkan this scheme that scheme tapi takde set rules and regulations’. Akak tu pun passed me on to another officer sampai siap nak bagi hp no. that officer lagi (perli la ni of course). That officer said to me, ‘kami tak galakkan penduduk buat pembakaran terbuka’ to which I replied, ‘puan, the keywords here should not be tak galakkan, it should be tak benarkan!’ Just imagine, yg tu baru satu kelompok rumah gomen, berapa banyak kelompok rumah gomen ada kat tempat I ni?? When jerebu time, we keep blaming the poor Indons.

Somehow I wasn’t convinced when she said that they’ll have a word with the residents. I resorted to writing to a local newspaper to complain (if only I am this committed to writing academically, dah lama I ni dah bertaraf Prof uols!) but sampai la ni tak dipublish..is it because I mengutuk scheme gomen ke?? My colleagues think that I ni kes meroyan..

Peram

I have just made my first batch of garbage enzyme or to be more precise, it should be ready just after raya month. I get pretty excited about benda2 peram ni (no MG, ini tak termasuk what you have in mind)...the process in making it itself is exhilarating. I only wish i have the patience to wait for it to fully mature.

(Agaknya sebab tu i suka cheese yg bau cam stokin busuk tu)

Probably it started off with my opah making bedak sejuk which is now my mum's expertise. The beras has to be soaked for over 6 months and the water is filtered out, kacau2 and ganti air baru. Each time the washing takes place, satu rumah akan bau cam kentut telur busuk. Tapi uols, benda tu la yg i dok tepek bila i kat rumah (itulah rahsia kecantikan kulit i yg putih berseri ni hehe) and termasuklah anak2 i sekali i tepek. Seriously speaking, bedak sejuk is so effective on rashes. Pakai pagi malam dah OK. Jangan tak tau, my mum bekalkan i stock bedak sejuk cukup setahun masa kat UK dulu!

Then when i was in the UK, i got into making telur and ikan masin. How on earth i got hold of telur itik pun i dah tak ingat dah. It normally took me 3 weeks for good telur masin yg putihnya tak berapa masin unlike those you get commercially. But as i said before, oleh kerana i ni jenis kurang sabar, i asyik ngap dulu setiap minggu and selang beberapa hari sebab nak check dah ready ke belum that cukup 3 minggu je mungkin i tinggal 2 biji je (btw Esah, jangan nak berotak blue kat sini).

At that time also i started to make salted fish and chicken (jangan tak tau, agaknya apa2 yg i can get hold of mesti i garamkan). I learned this thing from my housemate from St. Lucia. The problem was the university halls of residence yg i dok tu provided with us two tiny fridges untuk 6 org. Dapat pulak housemates yg jenis beli frozen food yg berkotak2 and shopping seminggu sekali. Tak cukup tempat for everyone. In order not to let the meat/fish go bad, i salted them. Agaknya masa tu darah tinggi aku! And these Carribean housemates of mine (sorang lagi dari Jamaica) pun suka preserve air anggur lah, halia lah (tasted really like the real ginger ale) and then kita org minum bagai nak rak. Ngok tul i masa tu...bila di pikirkan balik, no wonder la lepas minum cam rasa weng je, those drinks dah jadi cam todi buatan sendiri, kan?? Ish ish!

I asked MG to let me have a tiny space at our garden because i nak buat compost pulak (another proses pemeraman) to which he said no, not in the garden but pi kat store belakang rumah tu because he doesn't want the smell to linger kat dia. How am i going to save the earth camni kan? Ish pretty boy betul lah! Once i get hold of tong drum, here i go!

Anyway, my garbage concoction will be good in 3 months time, sesapa berminat nak try give me a call.