Marital problem

Yesterday, i had 5 miscalls from my desperate hoswipe cousin's husband. Masa tu i was at my workplace B. Awal2 pagi dah call i. Masa tu i fikir ni mesti nak mintak my professional opinion. When finally i got to speak to him, it was not my professional views that he sought but nak mintak jadi marriage counsillor (how do you spell this word?) Aiyo kadawale! You must understand that when this guy got married my cousin, i was in std. 2..kecik lagi...bila diaorg dtg bertandang ke rumah i, i siap boleh dok atas riba dia lagi. He's well mannered, soft spoken, loaded, romantic and apa2 lagilah..pendek kata dia tu idola kitaorglah kan. But now i'm married with a family of my own...i am not that naive little girl anymore. I pun tau marriage is not a bed of roses. One may be a good friend, son, in law etc. but doesn't mean he is a good husband. Tapi ni terpulang gak kat apa criteria yg wife nak kan??

So abang N ni mintak my opinion or kalau boleh tolong cecakap dgn my cousin tu apa yg boleh buatkan dia happy. Pasal he said that he is at his wits end. Dia kata baru2 ni adalah masalah anak2 sikit and dia kata my cousin tu tak suka the way he handled the problem. And satu lagi he's worried that all these may be taking a toll on her health. Dia kata makcik tu je yg perasan kononnya anak2 tak appreciate dia. Dia kata since she doesn't want to communicate with him anymore, dia suruh i pujuk makcik tu gi jumpa counselor (damn how do u spell this word? Hey you counselor of org sakit mental, tell me the right spelling). I was asked to keep our conversation confidential.

So just now i talked to my cousin nak tau apakah yg dah berlaku semenjak aku tak dtg bertandang. Basically, her son has got himself into a lot of debts yg berpuluh ribu sebabnya anak ni gila computer and electronic gadgets. Apa yg terbaru di pasaran semua nak belilah. I pernah masuk bilik dia, mekbook air ada, vayo yg paling canggih ada and handphone tak usah cakap lah, ada 2, 3. He has gotten himself into trouble camni before but appa very generous tolong langsaikan hutang with not even telinga kena jentik. Kali ni loyar pun dah hantar surat, bank nak istihar muflis. Sekali lagi appa nak langsaikan hutang anak. Pas tu after all that, si anak ada hati lagi nak pi makan angin ngan gefren and ngenden (nak nak) sponsor appa. Tapi amma cakap apasal appa nak manjakan budak sangat. Appa cakap depan2 budak tak sedar diri tu, amma why you nak masuk campur. Let me handle it. Lagipun awak dok rumah je, awak tak tau apa2. Bila dah tengok appa pun boleh cakap itu macam dgn amma, anakku sazali ni boleh cakap, amma! You tak sedar diri. Pompuan materialistik. Sebab amma materialistiklah i bagi amma duit 200 tiap2 bulan (yg amma tak spend pun tapi tolong simpankan utk anak). Amma tak sedar diri ke yg amma bertuah dapat kawin ngan appa??!

Amma tersentak dgn jawapan anak si Tenggang itu dan jugak ngan lakinya yg tak buat apa2 bila anak cakap camtu. Jangankan kata nak dusyum si anak kan...So i asked makcik tu, what did you do. She said she was so terkejut, terjelepuk and nangis raung. I menggeletar dengarnya...i had this vision of myself if that were to happen to me, i'd probably be running to the kitchen and bawak pisau chopper potong daging tu or the least batang kayu mop and hempuk dua2 mamat yg kurang diajar oleh pak mak mereka dulu supaya hormatkan pompuan/mak/isteri. OK, itu satu episode.

My cousin has been a housewipe all her married life. Hubby tak bagi kerja. Now ni umur dah nak dekat 50, badan dah sakit2 but hubby tak bagi pakai maid because tak percayakan org asing ada kat dlm rumah. Tapi expect wife to basuh bontot dia and anak2 kalau boleh. (which explains napa amma selalu sakit2..tekanan perasaan dan badan). Anak2 memang tak appreciate mak..dah tua bangka and dok rumah lain (walaupun rumah appanya jugak dan tak bayar sewa or bill apa2), masih campakkan kain baju utk mak masukkan dlm mesen, jemur, lipat, seterika. Amma komplen kat appa, i penatlah dah. Appa can say, you kan dok rumah, apalagi kerja you buat?? Takkan nak berkira ngan anak!

I really tak tau camna nak tackle benda ni...at the beginning i cam termakan dgn cakap2 cara lembut si jantan appa tu but bila dengar cite amma, i rasa cam nak cakap ngan appa, oi! Kau tu rugi je jadi jantan terpelajar tapi ko treat wife ko tak lebih cam cavemen treat gundik diaorg. Ko expect dgn wang ringgit ko, bini ko buat kerja rumah, cuci berak anak2 ko semua (yg dah besar panjang and tak reti2 dok rumah lain) and bila ko balik ever ready to kangkang..god, vulgarnya i!

Last2 i cakap kat amma yg dah nak tinggalkan lakinya, apa kata pi kaunseling. Dia kata dulu pernah pergi and lakinya never attended the sessions. Cis!

Tapi kita kena la bersikap professional kan...takkan nak pi cakap pulak kat appa, ces ko jantan tak sedar diri etc. etc. I think i kena cool down dulu and then call him up and suruh dia pi book sesi kaunseling. I tak leh le nak tak sides kan? Nanti kang i yg ter malu2 nak bertandang rumah dia..