Siamang species is universal - slightly edited

I would have loved to update sooner but to write about love, being dumped etc. kena cari mood yg sesuai. Furthermore, i think my laptop banyak menternak virus kut. Whenever i logged on to the internet mesti flash program being denied entry. When i told MG, dia cakap ini mesti kerana i suka melayari website XXX. Tah hapa2 tah. So probably after this you may not see me for a few days because nak bawak laptop masuk workshop.

Anyway, back to the telenovela....chenta pertama memang sweet and it's not something one would ever forget. Yes, you may get on with your life and have other chenta agung, chenta sejati, chenta stuck sampai mati (hehe, you ke MG?) but the first one will always bring a smile to your face even though things might not end up the way you want to.

After easter hols we went back to school and life was as normal. It was getting towards summer but the weather was still nice, not hot and stuffy like in the middle of summer. The good thing was we get to wear less clothing...takde le sampai menjolok mata lubang hidung etc. but at least we don't look like giant teddy bear berbungkus sampai nampak muka je. Masa time ni memang best dok2 kat luar lepak2..the students pun spent less time indoors and more time lepak2 tengah padang. HughGrant was a member of the school orchestra, string quartret whatever..timetable ruji i almost every petang was to have dinner (tea) with him every time after his practice. He played the tuba, tak kosser i nak menengok dia practise, kalau main piano ke romantic jugak kan??

We were to leave school after our a-levels and that was only about 2 months away. Masa2 camtu la sekolah sibuk dgn this dinner and that. Ada Chemistry dept dinnerlah, cio dinner lah, headmaster's party lah..and then there was the school hop. The latter is like a disco party organised by the school and all senior students are invited, antara you nak and taknak pergi je. I only went once itupun when i was already with him...the leceh thing was, being the only person from the house who didn't drink i had to make sure that all my housemates were on the bus for home. Jadi macam warden pulak le kan??? Diaorg tu kalau mabuk memang tak ingat donia...muntah sana muntah sini.. tak tau berapa banyak drink card yg diaorg copet or berapa banyak bucu card yg diaorg koyakkan. Yg menjaga punch bowl pun were junior students, so like they carelah kan if the seniors nak menonggang tempayan sekali pun.

And then we have the headmaster's party which i got to go once. Getting the invitation was a privileged.. you either excel in sports or academic to be invited. Haa..during this party of course no misbehaving and everyone is expected to make small talks and be polite. Dresscode pun ada uols...seksa jiwa i masa tu..kena pegang glass and go from one person to another making small talks when all you want to do is to lurk in one corner and gossip..hahaha!

Since HG and i were in the same chemistry class (and where we started to have our chemistry..hehe..ptuihh!)we went to the dept's party. Our teacher got up and gave a speech. He said that his students were a colourful bunch. Dari yg suka bergossip (the tok dalang) to one yg suka bercerita pasal all the exotic things he liked to eat (this guy was from africa so dia makan semua bushmeat)..then our teacher said, but..it's the quiet ones that you hav eto watch out for...then he mentioned about HG and i creating our own chemistry 'concoction' in class..sungguh malu perasaan i sebagai pompuan melayu terakhir masa tu.

Of course all of us were looking forward to this summer ball which is held just before our a-levels exam. I went down to my guardian's one weekend and went into town looking for a dress..student manalah ada duit kan..but my bro who was in the US that time sent me a supplementary credit card..cuma dia yg tau kisah percintaan terlarang i (plus he owed me some money). You know, even though i'd give anything to be that size again, like 20 kilos lighter, rambut kat kepala pun masih banyak time tu, i sure wouldn't want to be that age again. I wish i had more confidence back then to appreciate what i've got. Ni nak pakai tu malu, pakai ni malu. Nak pakai skirt pun mesti nak sampai ke buku lali padahal idak le kaki besar gajah ke..haa sekarang bila dah tua2 camni baru nak try irregardless laki cakap, you apsal? Midlife crisis ke?? It's all about self esteem..(so adik2 kat luar sana, jangan la be over-critical about your body weight etc. enjoy life! Actually org yg feel good about oneself tu yg lebih attractive kat mata org ramai)

HG tak pernah le pulak cakap i ghope hazab ke kan..unlike siamang, even though tak pernah le kata i hazab tapi selalu cakap you gemuk la, tembam la etc. Tapi still jealous bagai nak gila kan..(eh seperti biasa mesti melencong cite lain).

Anyway, one day HG cakap kat i that their orchestra group has been invited to perform in Paris. He's only going like for 4 nights, including weekend. Alangkah bagusnya kalau masa tu ada handphone kan? Boleh la selalu mengingatkan dirinya yg kau tu ada gofren..jangan le nak berfoya2 sangat. Tapi manale kita tau kan? What's the worst thing that can happen on a school trip, right?

So he came back on Monday..setelah sekiam lama tak bertembung muka, mestilah kita tercari2 manakah gerangannya jantan itu kan? We had one class together that day, itupun i nampak dia lain semacam..tak banyak bercakap. I bagi dia copy i punya trigo dlm maths class pun macam nampak dia reluctant. It went like that till lunch, dia disappeared entah ke mana. Then after school i asked my male friend, you ada nampak ke HG? i haven't spoken properly to him all day. Then the guy said, wait i pergi cari, then he also disappeared.

Then back at the house that night while we were having supper (oh..i sungguh tidak mahu mengingatkan peristiwa yg sungguh tak macho ini..), one of my housemates tanya, CK, are you still going out with HG? I said yes...eh, napa lak you tanya? Minah tu nampak cam serba salah..she said, i thought i saw HG with another girl on the lawn today..

What???! I terus pi cari coins and bulldoze my way through to the phone. So i pun call la mamat gtu. Mak dia jawab memula and she sounded so chirpy. The he got on the phone, suara macam *&^%^& je..i tanya, betulke apa yg i dengar yg uols dah ada gofren baru? Dia cakap, emm..yeas..erm...So i tanya, apsal tak cakap kat i? Dia pun erm..ermm lagi..

I think i must have screamed at him or bawled my eyes out or at least made some sounds cam lembu kena sembelih because my housemother jenguk kepala kat bilik phone and tanya are you allright? I must have cried myself to sleep, if i did get any sleep at all malam tu. The next morning my housemother tu ketuk bilik i lagi jenguk to see that i was allright. Agaknya kan, selama ni i jenis yg baik2 diam tak banyak songeh and suddenly i meletup..mesti org ingat i nervous breakdown kan? Sebab tu i cakap i tak macho, i couldn't control my emotions..malu bila mengingatkannya sekarang. Kalau ikut style bebudak matsaleh tu, tukar boipren/gofren lebih kerap dpd tukar underwear (seriously!). I thought that was the lowest moments in my life (tak taunya 9 tahun lepas tu bila kena dump dgn siamang lagi sengsara perasaannya).

I really didn't know how i was going to cope in school. How i was going to get through that day, let alone the one moth of school before term ends. Sampai je kat sekolah terus my friend from HK ni tarik i. She said to me, you tau tak kenapa HG was avoiding you all day yesterday? Dia pun berceritalah yg her housemate told her that HG buat perangai kat Paris uols! Apparently, dia dgn sorang minah ni yg jugak dlm orchestra, sungguhla bermesra2nya ngalahkan Memek and abg Hakim lagi lagaknya atas nama kerja. Amboi, bukan main lagi dlm bas kononnya mereka bergurau senda tak hengat donia. Of all the people who knew what happened with HG, minah ni sorang je kawan sejati i and the moment she knew about it terus dia datang bagitau i. Of course masa tu pun i dah tau, kan? kalau tak mesti ada peristiwa berdarah berlaku kat sekolah..or maybe not kut because i kan set2 wanita ayu lemah lembut jaman tu..cubalah kalau ada sesapa tu buat camtu sekarang ni...

I was devastated.... It didn't matter that he wanted to mengorat orang lain but at least have the balls to break it off with me first, kan? I had a stats test that day before lunchtime. Our teacher set2 yg bagi test pas tu dia menghilangkan diri, and when we finish then we can go. I was the last person to leave the class! Itupun my HK friend ambik kertas dia and bagi i copy! (she was a true friend betul, sampai keluar sekolah dia tak bertegur sapa dgn jantan tu kahkah). That day, as i was walking to the dining hall (boyfriendless setelah sekian lama), mata i yg sejak azali rabun boleh le pulak nampak pasangan baru merpati 2 sejoli tu lepak2 kat atas lawn. Hati i bagai dirobek2 uols! (I mean he dumped me for a junior yg baru berumur 14 tahun, tak lawa pulak tu! Kalau blonde ke, i could understand la kan..she had mousey brown hair, OK? I wonder what they two have to talk about..orchestra la kut..or i don't think they did any talking at all..ok la that part i kalah)

For a few days, it was sheer torture. I would see them together lepak2, makan sama..and of course it was pure hell in class. How to speak to him when menengok muka dia pun i menyampah? Then they'd be others in class who'd be observing how you two behave with each other. Siksanya jiwa!

I couldn't remember what actually happened, i flipped over something..and i thought that's it, i couldn't go on like this. I called up my guardian and bawled my eyes out. Ye la..she was like a mum to me there. And makcik tu cakap, CK, pack your things, i'm getting you out of school. I said, hah? Kan ada 2 minggu lagisebelum exams? She said, never mind, i'll call the school.

OMG, sampai la as i'm writing this, i felt mega embarrased. I'm sure i will always be remembered as the girl who left school because of putus chenta. How much more tragic can one be? Tak macho sungguh!! Imaginekan mulut bergossip kat dlm class? I'm sure it made him uncomfortable also..but i couldn't care less then..what i could feel was only hati kristal i yg dah pecah berderai. So i stayed at my guardian's. She said to me, have a good cry, take as many days as you want to, but once you're done, pick yourself up, brush off the dirt and move on. I selalu ingat kata2 dia ni. I had lost my best friend tu yg i terasa sangat2. Furthermore, how he ended it kan? Seperti jantan2 lain, mamat ni pun tak terlepas daripada buat kesilapan klasik. Pi menyundal, pas tu expect to get caught or other people to break the news to me. How cliche kan? (ketahuilah uols perangai ngalahkan boya ni universal...melayu, mat saleh, sama je). All i wished for at that time was to get through the exams, get through the 2 weeks after that (yg sepatutnya i ada boipren utk berfoya2) and get on the flight home for summer. Come Sept, i am far away from that place, so i can start new. Fuhh! Macam tragis benar la kan? The night of the summer ball i dok kat atas katil terkebil2..mesti diaorg semua bergumbira ria...

Going back to school for the exams were slightly better. There were no more class, so tak yah mengadap muka mamat tu. After 2 weeks, i went back to my guardian's. Sib baik la results exam i OK jugak...(even though my guardian did say, kalaulah lelaki durjana tu tak mengacau uols, nescaya chemistry uols pun A. Aa ah tuan puan, chemistry ku dapat B..)

Itulah ceritanya..now bila dah mature2 camni (ye ke) i selalu terkenang...boys at that age with the hormones jumping about, they don't want intelligent conversations. I was too naive to realise it then. So when there's another girl willing (walaupun muka hazab), the situation pun condusive (like in Paris, minimal teacher supervision) maka tumbuhla bulu siamangnya itu. After i understood the situation, 3 years later i wrote him a letter, addressed to his home. Surprise, surprise he replied! His major at uni was Economics but at that time he was already in the hotel bussiness..he did some work stint in US, Israel and where have you lah. Just that oncelah we wrote...

Cemana pulak boleh ada association dgn Piala Thomas 1992? Well, Msian won it that year. I was happy when i heard the news that day, but that night i kena dumped. Sebab tu ingat sampai sekarang..

So itujelah ceritanya..