Feeling: melancholy

Just got back from somewhere for something work related. Still too tired, spent the whole day sleeping. Just wish it's not monday tomorrow...parents came over while i was away to keep the children company. Little D had her first ever sports day and i had to miss it. While my dad was over at my place, he fixed the two broken toilets and one broken wardrobe door. It's just him...still trying to make things better for his kids, i'm sure he just wished that other things around here are as easy to fix.

Esah has been harping about PJJ ever since she found her chenta terbaru. Once upon a time i too had my fair share of PJJ. One was with the Siamang and later with MG. Although with MG boleh ke dipanggil PJJ? it was more of GBJJ i.e. gila bayang jarak jauh. In my opinion PJJ tidak harus diterokai unless one is matured enough and have other commitments such as work to keep one sane. Btw, in my previous post regarding Jessica, Ralph and Robbie, Robbie dapat loan utk belajar kat UK but he's seriously thinking of not going since tak mo tinggalkan Jessica. He's even talking about marriage etc. Jessica tak nak commit sangat pasal takut nanti dia yg kantoi. I spoke to Jessica's mum, i cakap bodohla kalau Robbie lepas peluang utk belajar obersea kerana chenta., Lagipun setahun dua bukannya lama. Maybe it's time they put their 'love' to the test. Apsal la bebudak ni rasa chenta lah benda paling agung dalam dunia and once chenta kita akan chenta selama2nya dgn orang ittew?

Mak i selalu pesan yg chenta dgn jantan ni bukannya sesuatu yg tetap...but once you have education, that's something no one can take away from you. Dgn kata2 tu la jugak i nekad pi balik ke UK for my masters even though rasanya masa tu hati ni meluap2 sangat syok kat orang minyak tu...takle dia pernah propose kat i pun, kan?

Mak si Jessica ni ada cakap, they are also thinking of sending her to the UK, tapi mungkin bukan London la kut pasal mahal..i said, why? Adakah kerana mahu dia gumbira supaya dapat dekat dgn chenta hati? I said, kenapakah org muda ni rasa chentalah segala2nya? Why is it they make it their centre of the universe? Ramai lagi kumbang dan bunga dalam dunia ni..why restrict to one? Why get tied down so soon? The world should be their oysters..(betul ke pepatah ni?)

Then i ingat balik to when i was 20...i remember how it felt to be happy dapat nampak muka chenta kita utk hari tu. How boleh cair taik telinga dapat sembang dgn chenta kita on the phone....pergi holiday pun kita sibuk cari the most perfect gift for that person, be it cuma cengkerang kat tepi laut tu...or bila dapat bunga sabun dari phuket you rasa cam chenta u mekar di hati ini utk selama2nya. And yes you fought, you cried, you made up and the cycle continued...bila difikirkan, you hated the person for making you feel that way..the insecurities..kalau boleh nak simpan orang tu dalam botol and make him your hakmilik kekal. You hate his guts, kalau tak chenta memang menyampah sangat dgn perangai mamat tu but at the end of the day, kita bergaduh pun sebab that person mattered to you....kalau tak bergaduh, tak bercakap, meaning, chenta selalunya sudah tiada and actually what he/she does, no longer matters to you.

So, even when i tried to talk some sense into Jessica and her mum, actually, to tell you the truth, i envy her youth, her energy, passion and most of all her ability to love the guy unconditionally..we who have passed that age tahu yg chenta tak semestinya kena berakhir dgn main kahwin2, kalau dah kahwin pun tak semestinya chenta sampai mati. But for the time being kalau ada magic, i'd like to go back in time and relive the time when i too was once that passionate about something.

Cerita selingan, this guy yg satu masa dulu dok umah tepi sungai (click here) dan telah menjadi pesbuk friend i buat sekian lama jugak have finally uploaded pics of his family..sekarang ni tengah makan angin kat europe. One of their destinations was the university where we went to. Haih..tempat jatuh lagi dikenang. Gini rhopenya bini dia..(he got married to his adik angkat in 1998. I was working in the UK at that time). The woman who mended his broken heart..not that it took him that long to get it mended..humph! And then ada pulak la sekor ni yg kengkadang masih menghantar sms kat i utk bercerita...one sided 'affair' la ni. Why he still needs to keep 'talking' to me kerana i sajalah yg tau asal usulnya dulu walaupun sekarang ni dia dah berjaya kaya raya..manalah cik kiah sikit lagi nak jadi jiwa kacau...