End of the year 2

 Pada malam yang hening jangan harus menghapdate blog. Entah apa2 yang dikarangkan. Bunyi macam sedih sangat...weng pun ada. True state of my mindlah kut. Dah 10 tahun tinggalkan UK. I didn't even go back for my Master's graduation ceremony because i was busy getting married. I did go back twice in the short span of 1 month in the same year to finish off my professional exams. But i went up to Scotland and straight down to London. Tempat jatuh lagi dikenang. Inikan pula tempat yang membentuk who i am now. Tempat yang mengajar i berdikari. I didn't get to menjenguk the nice teachers, staff and friends i left in Yorkshire. Bila diingat-ingatkan sekarang, rasa membazir betul menghabiskan a big chunk of my life moping around menunggukan bulan jatuh ke riba. I should have travelled far and wide. Pi terjah ruins yang ada di sekeliling, pi ramblings across the hills. Rather than menunggu 'prince charming' muncul to take the trip with me. Sekarang ni gigit jari je lah bila menengok gambar2 kat google and perasan 'eh, i was there!' but i didn't immerse myself in the beauty of the place so the memories are touch n go. So my motto for the new year (new '40' me) is to grab opportunities, happiness etc.while you can. Tak yah tunggu orang lain berubah, tak yah tunggu orang nak notice kita, tak yah tunggu kita selim melim baru nak happy, baru nak buat apa yang kita nak buat...'do not defer till tomorrow to be wise, tomorrow's sun to thee may never rise'..i came across this saying/proverb/whatever when i was in primary school. Masa tu hafal, tak faham pun apa maksudnya.

Anyway, about 14 years ago, i read the Helen Fielding's Bridget Jones Diary. Masa tu masih hangat di pasaran...was really into chick lit those days. Kalau sekarang ni masih membaca chick lits i rasa cam satu illusi pulak. I ingat masa tu i had finished my housemanship, tengah nak sit for part 1 professional exam. My colleagues sibuk revise i pulak sukasuki baca novel.  Actually i was not prepared for it but since dah bayar exam tu kan, dok je lah. I rented a university accommodation for the 2 week period before balik Msia since i had to vacate my room at a flat.

Pictures taken from www.yelp.com


 When i was a student at the university, bila i naik bas, the bus would go on the road opposite this hall of residence. I selalu terdetik kat hati, eh, nampak cozy nya bilik on the ground floor tu. Bila keluar pintu boleh terus ke lawn and lepak2. Kalau kawan datang pun boleh main ketuk2 je tingkap kasi signal. When i had the opportunity to rent a room for that short period of time from the uni (masa tu summer hols, students takde, therefore uni open to the public), I chose that hall. Because it was near to all the halal kebab shops. And what do you know? I got to stay at that room on the right. The one i've always wondered about. Tapi idaklah i bergolek gelantang kat lawn kan...dok dalam bilik bawah duvet, baca chick lit novels one after another. Just one thing about the hall, it was mixed laki pompuan.The shower and toilet cubicles separate but nun jauh at the end of the corridor. So takleh la berkemban ala2 cite Embun tu ye (I know Esah you like to berkemban ala2 PMT).
The picture below shows permandangan masa winter. Snow sungguh jarang. Kalau ada pun ala2 seinci dua yg sungguh tak worth it sejuknya. Actually, the building is dull brown in colour, bentuk pun kotak2 like many others in the UK. Tapi bila pokok berdaun, with dandelions and daisies during summer time, nampaklah cozy. Cerita ni takde 'moral of the story', but i selalu terfikir when we think hard and often about some things in life, apa yg kita hajatkan tu mungkin jadi kenyataan..it has happened to me quite a number of times. Tapi had yang nak berboiprenkan AnuarJen tu belum lah lagi jadi kenyataan....