Social misfit

So Esah said dia tak ramai kawan walaupun mati2 orang nak jadi kawan dia sekarang. Maklumlah…she’s an elitist blogger, cult leader, matriarch apa lagi gelaran yg telah dibestow on her? Dia ni kiranya cam some people in mesia yg berlumba2 sultan or pembesar nak bagi gelaran and end up as dato seri tan sri dato paduka and menyusahkan orang bila kat majlis2 berpusing otak nak pikir mana yg nak disebut dulu. But Esah said dianya pemalu….(waaa…tambah laksa sarawak sampai 4 mangkuk tak malu??) and that a lot of time is required to maintain friendships and which she does not have (uols jangan tak tau, dia private secretary to Queen E tawww!). Anyway, this entry is not all about Esah…I pinjam je dia sebagai pembuka kata..
I must admit that I ni pun sebenarnya pemalu (cemana kita start kawan2 dulu ye Esah and Miss AA?). My friends are mostly my workmates and I don’t keep in touch with any of my uni or school friends kecuali to just hi hi and bye bye kalau terserempak. I’d probably have one or two yg low maintenance friends like ustazah munah tu. In fact jahatnya I that sometimes dari 10 batu dah I tau that someone looks familiar but bila tiba dekat I buat2 cam tak perasan, pura2 jawab handphone dari phantom caller ataupun kalau tak berselisih, I’d probably menyorokkan diri I dari pandangan org tu. I only have 50 friends on my pesbuk, itupun dah tinggal 48 pasal I deleted 2 yesterday pasal I rasa I tak pernah berbual dgn org tu on pesbuk and masa sekolah2 dulu I idakle berkenan sangat dgn org tu. Nearly quarter of the 48 friends that I have pun telah I Hidekan because diaorg gedik sangat….the types yg nak kentut pun nak update status to couples yg asyik ambik quiz together2 and pas tu nak publicly declare their affection for each other (sebab tu I tak tergamak jadi pesbuk friend abang I because I rasa dia pun ada ciri2 sebegitu).
Masa kecik2 dulu, my parents suka paksa2 I pergi birthday party anak2 jiran. I’d rather stay home and watch Daktari or The wonderful World of Disney ke, sampaikan my parents pernah ugut that they’d file a complaint against me kat my HM and taula kan..yg paling ditakuti bebudak baya tu is the HM. Kejam diaorg tu..I hated dressing up because I takde dresses lawa2 cam bebudak pompuan biasa pasal paling pompuan yg I pernah ada pun was tshirt and skirts. I ada sedikit allergic kepada renda2, ropol2 and zip baju kat belakang..rasa gatal je… btw, zip baju kat belakang tu sampai la ni I tak suka and kalau tailor I buat gak, nescaya I pakai sekali je la wat cukup syarat. Nyonya tu cakap kena ada zip pasal baju kurung modern tapi I masuk tak yah bukak zip pun, so boleh tak next time jangan bubuh zip? Of course ni I cakap dalam hati je la kan??
I have a problem of saying no to people and sometimes friends take advantage of me because of this. Mamat rumah tepi sungai yg pernah gila kat I dulu pun pernah take advantage of me…I went home during easter hols one year and dia kirim kat aku 30 packet berahim! Suruh aku bawak balik dari mesia just because that summer dia nak berfoya2 kat Europe and nak bawak bekal utk 30 hari (walaupun kerana chenta dia kirim poskad from each city he visited…tak pedulik! Sakit hati aku masih terasa sampai sekarang!) Imagine kan, kita balik msia pun sekali sekala mesti byk barang nak borong dari kampong and kena bawak barang org yg berkilo. Tak ke maknanya hak asasi manusia I telah dicabuli? Then sama cam encik siamang tu…when he finished his studies and nak go back for good he MADE me buy his hi fi set. I cakap I taknak, but he said, he’d still leave them with me so it’d be nice kalau I bayar la jugak (BOLEH???). Yes, I’ve wised up over the years…slightly. Itupun it’d take sometime before I’d be able to ‘sound’ the person..mesti lepas brtafakur dalam toilet 4,5kali memikirkan jawapan2 yg pedas utk persiapan diri sekirannya situasi yg sama berlaku. I must have lost a friend or 2 as a result because with me, sekali I dah meletup, that’s it, there’s no turning back.
Dari kecik sampailah jadi bini orang, I would follow my parents to beraya rumah sedara mara, gi org kahwin etc. Sebabnya I malas nak dengar my father berleter kat my sis yg keras kepala dulu because dia ni set2 yg kalau dtg moodnya dia taknak jumpa orang, dia taknak la, paksa camna pun takkan jalannya (waaa..sekarang ni bukan main lagi dia jadi model citizen, ziarah keliling kelalang) and then my father would marah my mum yg tak dapat nak control anak katanya. So, to avoid all the gaduh2 during raya, aku la jadi pak pacak mengekor diaorg (abang I usah cakaplah kan…bila yg dianya pernah mengikut perintah, tell me?). When I got married to MG, I was all set to menurut perintah suami, kalau dia nak I ziarah 7 hari 7 malam pun akan ku turut kerana takut nak menderhaka (perggh!) tengok2 dia pun 2 kali 5 ngan aku…the only difference is that I’d rather spend my time kuak lentang in bed whereas he would ukur kaki lima OU, Ikea, Pavi, MV whatever. I sebenarnya tak pandai nak bersembang. Same like MG. So sebab tu we all liat sikit nak pi rumah sedara mara without our parents. Tak reti nak cakap apa. Nanti kang ada embarrassing silence. Kalau ada dia orang we can just plonk ourselves in the corner and smile.
Pernah sekali tu, many years ago, ada sorang uncle aku ni kononnya dah nazak kencing manis…his house was up north. My mum rang to tell me about it, I said OK, but I didn’t say I nak pi tengok. The thing is, this uncle of mine was so nasty to us because dia sakit hati ngan my mum his adik ipar. Dia set2 kawin banyak and my mum tak suka org camni and ada la voiced her displeasure. Pas tu kat we all pulak anak2 yg dia suka sindir2 bangsat. So, when he fell ill, I thought, dia ada ke takde didn’t affect me one bit. After my mum hang up the phone my dad rang and lemparkan kata2 tak sedap didengar kat telinga I ni…yg I dah lupa daratan la…tak ingat sedara mara la etc. etc. Mendidih darah i mendengarnya! But I ni tak dikurniakan tuhan dgn mulut yg pantas. I setakat tahan telinga je la but I retaliated dgn tak balik rumah berbulan2. Dgn mak I pun I jarang bercalling2 because I thought she should have stuck up for me. Tapi biasala mak2 ni bila dah tiba certain age or certain level kat kelas agama dia, dia akan iyekan je cakap lakinya. Much later, my mum told my desperate hoswipe cousin who later told me that rope2nya anak my uncle sendiri pun ada yg tak nengok bapaknya sakit, siap melancung keluar Negara lagi! Semua gara2 bapaknya masa sihat perangai ngalahkan bapak ayam so anak pun tak ambil berat masa dia sakit. And kononnya dia nazak masa tu, pas tu sihat balik, sempatlah hidup a few years lagi.
Yesterday U.Munah smsed me to ask my opinion what if she refused to go to a cousin’s daughter’s kid aqiqah. I’m the wrong person to ask because I just told her, family gatherings can sometimes be hard work. So during your off days, do you really want to be working at maintaining good behavior and remain polite all the time?? Like many family gatherings, kenkadang ada makcik tokcik sepupu sepapat yg bermulut puaka. Yg tak kahwin akan ditanya bila nak kahwin, yg tak beranak akan ditanya kenapa takde anak. Like getting anyone to marry is like beli nasi lemak senang je or beranak ni cam bukak paip keluar air. Lagipun org2 yg menanya ni bukanlah genuinely kisah sangat….Cuma saja jangan tak bercakap and as a result ada yg terkucil hati tu diaorg bukan peduli pun. Pas tu ada pulak set2 yang gemar benar bagi ulasan terkini seperti, ko ni sihat betul sekarang ye! And sihat here does not refer to the person’s medical history OK. Kalau ye pun org tu dah masuk tahap obese membimbangkan, diam je la…lagi2 set2 yg camni gemar member ulasan tatkala ramai orang so you can’t really retaliate by bagi pelempang sebijik.
Anyway, I’m just airing my grouses because come hari raya, terserlah betul kepincangan orang yg bernama Cik Kiah ni…tak tau nak bergaul ngan orang….apa2 pun, semalam I bersosial makan2 laksa Sarawak dan macam2 pudding, sedap!! Siap mintak tapaw bawak balik lagi! Sampaikan maid sms kata PIL ada kat rumah pun I tak baliklah! I lap U people!

P/S apa2 pun I nak cakap yg I tak puas hati kat sini. Maid report yg MIL puji cermin and gambar yg naik dinding rumah I sempena raya ni. Dia kata to the maid, beria2 betul Bapak (MG) bersiap utk raya kali ni. Ceh! Amat tak puas hati I. Memang la MG si ID nya (because he’s damn hard to please like all Virgo people, so I tak kosser nak bergaduh pasal nak hias rumah) tapi pemberi creditnya Cik Kiah ni!!!!! Selagi hutang tanpa dikenakan bunga itu belum dibayar…… perghhhh!