Neon pink N95

One day, i was at M&S. Tengah tengok2 barang. Then i saw…seamless- minimiser- available in DD++ and above sizes- tshirt bra..wah! I have always envy tshirt/sports bra orang sebelum ni. You may ask, bilalah pulak i sekodeng bra orang kan? (Esah would say that ni saki baki habit dari sekolah atas bukit sinun dulu) Well, bila pi conference or workshop and dok hotel, somehow or rather, mesti ternampak bra and undies kengkawan yg spilled out of their bags. And i marvel at how pretty (and small) they were…unlike…err..mine…yg dah la tak small, design pun jarang berganti. Agaknya not lucrative enough for kilang to manufacture banyak2 pattern bra utk those yg well-endowed kut. Anyway, back to those M&S bra, sesaja i try..it’s true what they say, a good pair of undies will make a whole load of difference to how you feel about yourself bila memakainya. Cecari colour lain takde…but the good thing was, jual 2 sekali for that one price.

Bila sampai rumah, i keluarkan dari plastic bag. Lipat plastic bag, buh kat kitchen. Bra terpampang atas meja makan…i mean it’s just a bra…kat rumah ni, men are outnumbered..cuma MG and Monty..haiya…MG pun metrosexual and Monty eunuch. So nak segan apa kan? Tetiba budak mulut yg patut dibuat cekodok tu berbunyi, ‘besarnya bra mummy!!’

Pastu macam empangan pecah uols! Semualah nak bercakap pasal bra tuh. Budak2 couldn’t understand why they look so huge. Have my nenen grown bigger they asked. No, nenen are still the same size (budak2 breastfed ni sampai ke tua mesmerised dgn nenen maknya). I put them on later. Baby X mata tak berkelip2 nak tengok bawah baju i. Of course it didn’t help the bra was pink in colour. Dah near bedtime pun tak habis2 selak baju i sampai i annoyed. Blardy! It’s only a pink bra but paknya cakap, well, do you have to have it in neon pink??? Haish! Like i had a choicelah kan?!

Then they kept asking, why is it sooooo big? Ish bebudak ni. Selalunya i pakai bra biasa..ni yg had tshirt bra diakan berspan..jadi keras cam tempurung. Pastu paknya tak sudah buat joke bangang.

Mummy, orang punya bra nasik lemak 2 kupang or 2 inggit..you punya bukan setakat nasik lemak tapi nasik ambeng! (celupar, celupar!)

Mummy, kalau jerebu datang lagi, bra you boleh ganti topeng N95!

Little D, mummy punya bra boleh guna masa nuclear attack!

It’s only a damn bra, get over it lah! Panas betul hati i..pakai bra baru pun banyak masalah. I said, it’s pink in color, so what’s wrong?

MG said, ‘you look like middle age british woman sunning on the beach of Majorca.’

Boleh Esah?  Like i keriau2lah when he purchased all his fancy undies…kalau pun nak mid-life crisis, takkan i nak biarkan dia sensorang dak?