Pompuan Melayu Ber'akhir' 1

You know when you are much younger how your parents used to make you cringe in embarrasment? Even for things as simple as asking a waiter for teh kurang manis or nasik separuh? Apsal nak demand2 sangat kan?? When one is passed 30, one I think has reached the age of ‘no malu’. Bila dah mula ‘buat perangai’, it can easily be misunderstood as the person’s hitting mid-life crisis (eh itu aku ke?) or worse, buang tebiat.
I was raised to be a ‘pristine-white’ girl…(oi, orang ittew, you may laugh). I was sent to a convent school, mix ngan pompuan je, not even male teachers. The only male person around was the gardener. Itupun, he was uncool, mulut ngalah pompuan, if any of us girls were to misbehave (for something as simple as meludah dlm tong sampah), si mulut pok pek ngalahkan Makcik Wok lagi tu akan complain kat cikgu besar. We were the type of girls yg nak pi kencing kena angkat tangan dlm kelas and bila balik sekolah tunggu transport masing2, takde can le nak main ‘buaya’ tepi longkang tu. Then off I went to this boarding school yg semua pompuan atas bukit nun…the only jantan you might see was the jin kind. (ada le sorang assistant tukang masak yg agaknya dari set jin pun by the way he stared at us girls bagai gaya nak makan je).
Mak I yg set displinarian mengalahkan cikgu Bedah lagi tu had her own set of rules….no bercintan cintun ngan jantan, no jantan penpal…I remember my sister yg lebih adventurous tu dgn gigihnya meneroka alam berpenpal dgn jantan sekolah seberang. All hell broke loose when my mum found out (dari mulut I ke?? Entah tak ingat)…the fuss was as if dia nak elope ke Siam.I budak skema yg mengikut perintah mak bapak ni, nak baca Mills&Boon pun mintak permission dulu uols! And I was in Form3 at that time. And bila nak baca kat rumah, kena pilih those yg cover nye innocent…harlequin, harold robbins?? Not on your life you!
I memang maintain anak dara pingitan sampai la I masuk negara benggali putih tu (irregardless apa2 pitnah yg ditaburi oleh kau Esah). I wrote all the time to my mum and I’d tell her everything hinggakan panty pakai warna apa pun I cakap. Pas tu, masa memula pergi and the taklimat given by the officer kat MSD tu, dia cakap, scholars..! You all should write me and update segala perihal you all. (maklumlah, kita org ni crème de la crème la katakan). I did that you know, wthout fail, for every semester! Naik taxi terlebih sekupang pun I akan tulis to justify! My first vice was mengisap rokok ngan bebudak minah saleh tu…I was supposed to be their watchman tapi hati melonjak2 nak try. Batuk kokol I sampai pinar2 bijik mata. Even when I was at uni pun, I was a model citizenlah kata org. Class tak nah miss, lepas kelas study lagi kat library sampai kul 9 lebih (until the last female bus berlepas)…dapat pulak boipren yg jeles, kongkong nak mampus cam set2 pak arab (tapi dianya bersosial ngalahkan singa jantan takpe!). I think, my life must have begun after the boipren balik mesia and I kerja thus ada duit nak berfoya2. Even then, the naughtiest thing I got up to was to make 3 trips to this nightclub on Friday for ladies night: ada strip show. And honestly, yg bawak kitaorg was this guy yg kena dok luar sejam sementara menuggu the girls went crazy. Bila si singa jantan (a.k.a siamang) dapat tahu (i told him cos i wanted to share), he put a stop to it and dutifully (cis!) i ikut walaupun dia jauh beribu batu.

OK, sambung lagi di lain masa.