Bukan cinta biasa

I was really irritable yesterday..dah bertahun2 i tak masuk gym, yesterday i took the plunge sebabnya swimming pool kesayangan kering under maintenance. Kesian bebudak cuti sekolah..baru nak terkinja2 main air. Back to the gym, malamnya segala tulang temulang sakit, that's why i was irritable. I went there early in the morning, bukak2 je terus pergi. Bukannya apa, it's just a small gym, so i geli sikit kalau ramai2 orang. Kang ada yg peluh menitik merata2 lah, ada yg peluh bau kari la, ada yang ketiak bau tengit la...Anyway, for the first 45 mins i was there, there was no one else. Then this guy came in...what is it with guys kan? They are not interested to do any cardio exercises at all, masuk2 je terus menuju ke free weights. Yg i tak tahan tu, bila angkat weight tu, this guy would be groaning and grunting cam kerbau kena sembelih, pas tu macam lepaskan weight berdentum kat lantai. Ek eleh...kalau tak larat angkat yg berat2, angkat le je yg ringan...then sikit2 tengok cermin, admiring his biceps and what have youlah.

Then later, another guy came in..ni lagi satu. I mean, there were two other people before him kan, but this guy masuk2 je terus offkan aircond and bukak sema tingkap. Why? I don't understand..kalau ye pun, mintak la permission i ngan the other guy dulukan, ni tak..buat muka poyo je..ces!

Kolam kering satu minggu ni bagus jugak..kalau tak i would be menjilat jari dari jauh je because cuti2 sekolah cam ni, bebudak ramai especially teenage girls. It must be age and generation gaplah..i really can't stand teenagers. They'd come in a group, not in proper attire. Tapi ni boleh pejam mata lagi..what i can't stand is they don't tie their hair back! Rambut masing2 panjang..then bila kita swim, eh, cam ada tentacles jellyfish je lekat kat kaki kita...ghope2nya rambut bergumpal2. Geli!!! Pas tu changing room mesti semak gila. Dgn tissue paperlah, arm bandlah, rambut (again), etc. Then they have this habit of jumping into the pool..you see, the pool's not that big..ada la about 25m or less. So, bila masing2 dah lompak cam anak hippo, CK yg tengah berenang ni macam kena landa dgn tsunami ok! Another thing, dia org just berendam in small groups, sana sikit, sini sikit...yg serious swimmers cam CK ni (ptuih..!) tak boleh nak swim in straight line, kena zig zag celah2 depa. Gosh! I'm really whining kan? Apa2 pun, hambik kau, la ni sapa pun tak leh gi pool tu..haha (gelak evil).

This morning i was telling MG about the girls at the pool. Dia tengah seterika baju and i was trying to squeeze into my perisai. I selalu perasan yg i ala ala those XXXX model in corset what have you la - memang jati diri tinggi sungguh. MG cakap cam sarung nangka nak merekah. Anyway, mamat tu seperti biasa buat comment2 ngok cam...wooooo..mesti cam wet tshirt contest kat poolkan...mmmm...,imagine all the daging pejal2...

Dah la perut i asik memulas je dari celik2 mata pasal semalam bantai kerang sampai tak hengat donia, coupled with joke2 bangang mamat tu. I terus (ter)lepaskan bom i uols! POOOOORRRTTTT! Baunya tuhan je le yg tau! Like tokak plus anjing basah plus air limbah semua ada. I sendiri pun cam nak pengsan, so i had to warn MG kerana kesian gak. After a few seconds bila dah sampai kat dia, dia terus lari masuk toilet buat2 gaya nak muntah. Pas tu dia kunci i luar bilik tak bagi i hiburkan dia pot pet pot pet sementara dia tengah ironing.

I cakap laaaaaa..kata cinta sejati.....i baru kentut siiikiiiiit je pun dah tak tahan...


Istilah:


tokak = luka yg basah tak kering2 serta berair
anjing basah = anjing yg tengah basah
air limbah = air kotor longkang parit yg berkeladak

BTW, those istilah have been in my family for yonks. I idakle ada first hand experience pulak ye dgn bau2 camtu.